I found out about 2 months ago that my best friend has been having an affair for the past year with the partner of another mututal friend of ours. We have been best friends for decades, I am as close to her as my own siblings, am Godmother to their children (mid teens) and while I dispise cheating and she knows how I feel about it, I also don't want to lose my friendship with her so am trying to not pick sides which they all know. I know she's felt neglected in their marriage for a few years and wasn't happy, her DH isn't a bad guy, not abusive or anything but lazy - not that that excuses an affair. Mutual friend is leaning on me a lot for emotional support and I'm hearing that the AP is manipulative and controlling and AP is telling BF the same about mutual friend. Obviously I am not repeating what each is telling me to the other as I don't want to be accused of shit stirring. AP is a jack the lad type and doesn't come across like that but I don't know them well enough to know for sure. I know MF has a history of jealousy, enough so that it does make me question who is telling the truth but again, I keep that myself. I've told my BF I can't see them together as a couple at the moment as it feels a betrayal to her DH and MF and their children as it's still so soon after, and she is understanding of that. I'm being made to feel bad by both her DH and MF if I even consider ever accepting the AP into my social circle with BF but I don't feel I can do that long term without losing her as my friend. There's no easy way to navigate this where I don't lose a friend somewhere a long the line, is there? Someone is always going to feel like I've picked a side.