Should I expect commitment after 3 months of dating?

[Mummblebee]

I have been dating someone for 3 months. It's going well and we meet up every weekend during this time and yes we are sleeping together. I have asked where he sees it going and he said its too early for him to call me his girlfriend although he does see it progressing to a relationship. He has also said he would like me to loose weight and get to know me a bit more before being 100% happy being his girlfriend. I am trying to loose weight for myself but am struggling. I feel a little deflated and not sure where to go from here, as I'm starting to feel like it's me who makes more effort with good morning texts and travelling to see him weekly. What would you do? I like him a lot and don't want id to end but don't know if I'm completely happy carrying on much longer in limbo. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

LTB asking you to lose weight in the first 3 months of a non commuted relationship? No. What if you had children and you gained weight or (forbid) in sickness and health (I know it’s not marriage but we have to commit out full selves right?) you deserve better x

Is this serious? I really hope it isn’t. You’re sleeping with him and he won’t call you his gf until you lose weight?? Outrageous. I have done worse in the past so not judging you, but please walk away

Dump him. This is not acceptable. He is using you and that comment about weight is inexcusable.

and get an std test cos' that piece of shit is probably shagging and negging other women as well.

He’s using you, dump him! Honestly he sounds truly awful.

Fuck him off, you are making all the effort and he has told you to your face that he doesn’t think you are good enough to be called his girlfriend. He’s a prick

Surely this is fake

I wouldn't ask any question i would upset by the answer

Wow conditions to be his girlfriend. That’s a red flag already that he’s making you feel you need to “work” to be worthy. He’s started off as he means to continue … borderline sign he’s abusive.

He has also said he would like me to loose weight and get to know me a bit more before being 100% happy being his girlfriend.

Nah, lol.

Woah you're joking right?

He wants to sleep with you every weekend but not prepared to call you his girlfriend.
If you wanted something casual and non exclusive too then that's different but I don't get that impression.

He told you to lose weight???

Where's your self respect?

Find someone who likes you as you are.

Please stop seeing him!

Women Who Love Too Much would be a good read for you, @Mummblebee

Fuck that shit. I wouldn't be losing weight for anyone other than myself. If he is mentioning things he doesn't like about you and wants you to change before making you his girlfriend then he is a massive dick.

Dump this loser.

I think you should dump a man who tells you to lose weight before he'll be your boyfriend ( but is happy to shag you anyway).

Seriously, he's a horrible man and expect him to continue to put you down and make you lesser than him if you keep on seeing him.

Work on your self-esteem and get a better man.

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN.

He doesn't want you to be his girlfriend becuase he considers you not attractive enough. But you are attractive enough to have sex with.

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN

As ever the question asked isn't really the issue. Why are you even thinking about commitment with a cunt who says you need to lose weight to achieve the lofty status of being his girlfriend? Lose 200 pounds by dumping the asshole before he destroys your life.

Lose 12 stone of ugly fat by dumping this wankers arse.

Honestly is your bar so low that you accept being spoken and treated to like this by a man you’re happy to share a bed with?

No, no, no.

After 3 months of dating and sleeping with you he should be besotted and woeing you into a commited relationship not laying out T&C for the honour of him calling you his girlfriend, let alone saying you need to lose weight.

Thanks for the perspective everyone. I am deflated to say the least. But I think you have all confirmed what I already knew.

Sorry OP but you’re a stopgap travelling to him to offer sex on a plate while he puts little effort in. Then he complains you don’t look good enough!
This won’t progress to a relationship. He’ll keep getting his oats until someone else comes along. Then probably ghost you.
Leave him now and find someone who doesn’t want to change you. You deserve better than this.

What an absolute bell-end! Tell him to do one - you deserve way more than this.

How dare he say that you would need to lose weight before he agrees for you to be his girlfriend. Oh but you’re good enough to sleep with?!

Total prick - find your strength and your sense of worth and tell him to go fuck himself.

I'm sorry @Mummblebee the replies must have seems a bit brutal.
But honestly - you are already making more effort than him - and he's already telling you how to treat your own body.
I'm assuming he's a perfect Adonis?
You already probably knew this guy wasn't good enough for you. You'll feel better without him - honestly. There will be a guy out there who's perfect for you - and who treats you properly but this guy isn't him.

If a man I was dating/having sex with said he’s not 100% happy for me to be his girlfriend until I’ve lost weight it’s the last thing he’d ever say to me. I’d dump and block him on the spot.

I'd dump him too for asking me to lose weight

FFS. Where are your standards, woman?