Are any or all of these valid reasons to leave a relationship?

[Ft567]

... with a man, early 50s:

1. Closed off emotionally, can't talk about his feelings or tell me he loves me.
2. Can be quite belittling and critical of me in how I do things differently to him.
3. Drinks a lot more than I do, eg two bottles of wine on a night out. He wouldn't drink during the working week but often binges on a weekend.
4. We don't live together but each have our own flats in London - often says how bigger/better his is compared to mine.
5. Talks over me a lot, on the phone especially. I've told him this but he still continues.
6. A general air of superiority that makes me feel inferior at times.

Together a couple of years and am around the same age but I probably have low self esteem so can't judge if I'm a bit over-sensitive and if this is fairly normal.

You can leave any relationship for any reason you like, it doesn’t sound like he brings much happiness to your life.

Stop focusing on "reasons". Does he make you happy? Do you feel safe, does he make you feel positive about yourself? If any of those are answered with a no then walk. It isn't about specific behaviour, it is about how those behaviours make you feel.
To me it sounds like he doesn't make your life better or more positive. Doesn't sound like you have any reason to stay with him practically - finances, homes, children. Just go and work on yourself before he grinds you down.

Why do you need a reason to leave? If this relationship doesn’t bring you you then end it - it really is that simple.

And for what it’s worth that list is more than enough reasons to dump him. He sounds an absolute twat

Yes, this. I mean, I’ve dumped perfectly decent men who were dull, or Insufficiently articulate, or wore awful shoes.

Does your relationship make you happy? If not, leave. That’s the only justification you need.

Sounds like he's making your self esteem low. London is a big place, there are better men out there. Even ones that don't belittle their girlfriend.

I didn’t even read the list, the fact that you even have a long list of reasons is a clear indicator you want to leave. You don’t need a reason to end a relationship

You don't need a 'valid' reason. You can end a relationship because of any reason you want.

You've described a horrible person. Why are you with someone who treats you like shit?

Do you live together? If not, just tell him. You don't have to justify yourself. At your age I wouldn't be waiting, life's too short.

As ever, the first reply nails it

Thanks, all. Yes, I know I can leave for any reason. Lots to think about now.

He sounds horrible

@Ft567 do you love him? If the answer is no, then leave him xx

He sounds like someone who makes you feel worse about yourself, not better. Be single!

When I was questioning my relationship my therapist said this to me:" I see that you are looking for a reason to leave, but the fact that you want to is enough", and these words had set me free.

We were together over twenty five years and have three kids together. We have been apart for four years now and I am single by choice. I have never been happier.❤️

These are definitely valid reasons to end a relationship. Once you’re out I highly recommend you complete the freedom programme online and read overcoming low self esteem.

Does he make you happy?
Does he make you feel loved and cherished?
Do you feel supported?
Do you look forward and excited to see him?
Does he bring something to your relationship?

Can be quite belittling and critical of me in how I do things differently to him.

I'm guessing the answer to my questions is a BIG FAT NO.

I can’t believe you are even having to question it with this many examples of horrible dare I say abusive behaviour, but even aside from this, if you are not happy, or even just…because, you have every right to end a relationship and have that respected as a valid choice.

@Ft567 why would you think any of those behaviours are normal?

I can't think of any redeeming features that would negate all that in my book. He'd be toast.

He definitely doesn't make me feel loved, cherished or supported. I feel at times the relationship is on his terms and his wants and needs. He does have good points though, otherwise I wouldn't be with him.

Worrying that you’ve accepted such treatment. Run for the hills!

Can you list his good points?

You don’t need a reason. If he doesn’t bring joy then get rid. I think that’s sorting your house too, but same applies.

He sounds like an awful bluffer.
Why are you wasting your time on a man who isn't kind to you?
Move on.