Would you date a man who was unfaithful ?

[riboon]

To his previous partner, at the end of a twenty year relationship. By his ex partners account, they were just waiting for their only child to grow and leave home before they parted ways?

No, I've not cheated on anyone. Ridiculous assumption and comment.

Obviously it's not black and white and people can be forgiven for cheating but I would definitely be wary and proceed with caution if someone told me they had cheated in the past, particularly if it was within a long relationship.

And it would depend on.the type of cheating. I don't think I would take the risk of getting deeply involved with someone who conducted a long affair or had cheated more than once. That would involve too much lying and disrespect of another person for my liking.
That's what it is at the end of the day, a risk. Every relationship has a risk of being hurt, I just think.the odds are a bit higher with someone who has cheating in their past

Nope, definitely not.

It's fine to have had previous relationships, and even previous marriages, but I could never, ever trust someone who had cheated.

The proper, adult, thing to do when you're not happy in a relationship is to end it respectfully.

The dodgy bastard thing to do is to try to get your end away with someone else and either hope your partner/spouse finds out and ends it for you, or to try to keep both 'relationships' on the go at once.

I could simply never respect someone who did the dodgy bastard thing...

Agree with this. The only difference between this man and the next one is that you know for sure the first guy cheated. Bonus points for the first guy if he told you off his own bat and if he appeared to have learned something from it.

Yes, because I had an exit affair and know it was completely different to my complete loyalty and faithfulness during the rest of my 20yr marriage.

I have done, because shit happens. It didn't work out but it's not always the case that the man is the bad guy for cheating, because oftentimes people don't leave shit relationships until someone else comes along.
I know that's not what this board wants to hear but it's true.

What's so funny? 🙄

I woukd have seen it very back and white and sand nowhere I was younger, but now I think life is complicated and good people do bad things. I also think there's practically no one who would never ever cheat, when circumstances conspire, everyone has it in them.

Nope, I don't.
I had the opportunity to once and I didn't. I ended my relationship.

Don't assume that "everyone has it in them", that's rubbish, plenty of people have no cheating as a very firm boundary.

Agree. If everyone had it in them people with integrity wouldn't chose to leave relationships when they realise they weren't happy. They'd stay and have their cake and eat it regardless. Or wait until their shoe was firmly in the door elsewhere before jumping ship, as has happened to me before. I'd never put someone else through that. Once it has happened to you you'd have to be incredibly heartless to do that to anyone you once cared for at all.

I have dated men that have admitted they'd been unfaithful to ex wife, which has come out after a date or two, but I wouldn't settle down and take them as a serious partner.

For me it’s about lying and deceit rather than broken promises. So if I could verify with the ex that they had agreed that they were merely living together to provide a secure home for the children and had agreed that each could move on to other people for intimacy and support then fine

I think everyone can say no to the opportunity too, but that doesn't mean they would never do it, given the right (wrong?) set of circumstances coming together, by which I mean much more than just opportunity

I have cheated once

I know for certain I would never do it again

people can learn from the mistakes they make.

its also estimated between 40 and 60% of people have cheated, I think it someone is honest with yo, they are less likely to cheat (just a feeling )

I still disagree.
I can categorically say I have never cheated and I never will.

Once a cheater, always a cheater

I dated a guy who cheated on his ex wife. I assumed it was once but actually he admitted that it was numerous affairs. To be honest the cheating wasn't the main thing for me because I created a narrative that he wouldn't do it to me. The trouble was he was an incredibly good liar after a while I realised that I literally couldn't believe what he said about anything...I would ask him something and then would ask him a few days later and invariably I would get a completely different answer. That was the real issue, lies became such a part of his life and being secretive too. It also really made me dislike his friends who knew about his cheating yet would still be friendly to his ex even after the divorce - his ex knew about only one of the affairs. One thing I noticed was the wives of his friends just loathed him.