Man asking for photos

[CoalTit]

A man in his late 30s asked for my number at a dance and I gave it to him. I am a lot older than he is and had accepted that I'd never have sex again.
He messaged a lot and asked to meet. I sent a rather unflattering photo of my face and a message that the photo was so he could think about whether he really wanted to meet someone my age.
He said he liked it when I sent him photos and could I send him more. I said no. He asked again, several times, the next day.
Does anyone know if this is usual? What do people do with the photos?

A dance? Like a tea dance? I think it’s a scam. I’d block him.

I should think he's working up to asking you for more sexual photos. He will use them to masturbate. A lot though not all will also share them around on various online sites. I'm afraid some of the sites won't be stuff you'd want anywhere near you - sites for fantasies of various types.

If you liked him then you can always say no to the photos and suggest meeting, or ask him for photos if you like. I was surprised how much I liked seeing pics of men. I'd be a bit cautious in these circumstances tbh.

It is 'normal' for men that age to operate like this but you absolutely don't have to participate, particularly with someone who's a stranger.

Oh come on don’t be naive. He wants sexual photos for his wank bank.

Why on earth would you give a random man your number and send photos?

Hang onto your dignity and block him.

Block. Why are you sending him photos?

@CoalTit Or to blackmail you with and get you to pay up or else

He doesn't want the photos to show his mother OP. Have a wild guess at all the things he could possibly do with them, and there's your answer.

Once a photo leaves your hands its out there out of your control so think twice before you send any and that goes to everyone that is reading this.

As someone who went back into
the dating world after 15 years being married, my experience was that men asking for ‘photos’ wanted sexually explicit photos. I was quite surprised to find men between about 32 and late 30s were interested in a curvy, 40 something women, but there does seem to be a few who like my ‘type’. Not many of them wanted a relationship though. The man I fell for is a few years older than me and has not asked for ‘photos’ in the 2 years we’ve been together.

It can also be a form of control or dominance behaviour - knowing they can message you with instructions or requests and you'll do it. Selfies are a fairly benign starting point and a good way of feeling out whether you're receptive to putting his wishes first and being told what to do. It might not be consciously controlling behaviour but with requests like this there's often an underlying element of 'I get things from her that no-one else has got'.

Some younger men have a fetish for older women, likely just to be just about wanting a fling and will probably be trying it on with other women also.

Absolutely. I’m late 50’s and in my OLD days I was bombarded my messages from men in their 20’s and 30’s saying they prefer older women.

A dance? Like a tea dance?
Salsa and bachata.

I assume he's trying it on with other women too.

Thanks. The "wank bank" explanation is hard to understand when it's so easy to get sexy photos from the internet, and this one makes more sense to me.

If you liked him then you can always say no to the photos and suggest meeting
He asked to meet and I sent him the unflattering head shot with a message saying "this is so you can think about whether you really want to meet". I said no to the requests for more photos.

If you do meet him, make sure it's in a public place, OP, and start small - a coffee in the day step 1. If he doesn't want to meet, there's more evidence that the lure is photos of increasingly intimate content.

How much older? If you're 95, I'll admit, it's a bit weird. But if you're 50, what's the problem?

Send him a photo of an idyllic beach captioned - 'hopefully our honeymoon destination ☺️' or some other random shit.

He'll remove himself swiftly from your inbox.

Do you want to meet him? Why are you giving him all the power and asking if he's sure he wants to meet you? That seems the primary to think about before even thinking about the photos

Thanks for all the advice about what I'm doing wrong, but I was just asking if it's usual for men to be so keen for photos, especially when you've already met in person and he's asking to meet again.

I’d say it’s pretty common for men to ask for ‘photos’. Bear in mind this happens with people who are chatting through OLD. I had plenty of photos on my profile. They didn’t want photos. They wanted ‘photos’ 😜😈 I imagine the difference with a RL person sending ‘photos’ is they will then try sexting, which some find sexier than just watching porn or cheaper than paying for Only fans!

One of my friends was asked for ‘bedroom’ photos so sent him pictures of wardrobes.

I’m going to go against the grain here. I think the assumptions he is asking for sexually explicit pics could well be over the top. I’m not so naive to think he would object if you did so.

l would suggest that he goes dancing as a way of meeting people. In my book that is a better way forward than OLD.

Getting back to the photos, my rule in such cases would be not to share anything you wouldn’t show the person next door or a colleague at work.

Honestly a man asking for photos would be instantly blocked.