Page 5 | To think MN is basically is drowning in fantasists?

Staggeredatthisadmission · 2025-03-07T00:30:35+00:00

Who can you actually believe on MN? We spend hours…days…reading posts, debating, giving advice and genuinely becoming invested in other people’s worries, only to find out later down the line that they were in fact fake. Why? Some recent threads have been so upsetting that you almost feel you are living through it with them…and then they’re gone without a trace. Is it a reflection on our own lives that we become invested in these posts. Does it say more about us than them? Are we using MN because we ourselves are lacking friendship or to fill a void?

Gwenhwyfar · 20/03/2025 10:49

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 07/03/2025 10:06

I read threads because I find the psychology of humans very interesting. I post if I think I have anything to add, even just solidarity, because, even if it IS a fantasy and a story, all posts are a part of the whole. So I guess I read more as though I'm reading an interactive book than anything else.

Plus, one person's fantasy might be another person's reality, so any advice can be useful to someone.

Yes, I don't care if a thread is true or not.

Resilience · 20/03/2025 10:51

I don’t think it matters. You should never invest more than you’re willing to have ignored/wasted anyway. I will post on threads where I’m pretty sure the OP will ignore me or has made it up, but I think there may be a value in other lurkers reading it. Sometimes I post just because I’m bored (or procrastinating) and it’s entertaining. But I never post anything where I’d be upset if my post was lost because the whole thread was removed after discovering the OP was a troll.

Same rule as gambling - never give more than you’re prepared to lose. That goes for the whole internet really.

Jade520 · 20/03/2025 11:11

I don't care if posts are made up or not. There's plenty that's 'made up' on tv but I still watch it. If it's entertaining then I don't really care.

It annoys me much more when posts are taken down mid flow or when people go round looking for fake posts so they can report them and feel clever. I think they need to get a life more than the people making things up.

tothelefttotheleft · 20/03/2025 11:34

@Sosoftandfluffycat

The pregnant woman one?

Sosoftandfluffycat · 20/03/2025 12:14

tothelefttotheleft · 20/03/2025 11:34

@Sosoftandfluffycat

The pregnant woman one?

Yes lol

ItsaWarmWind · 20/03/2025 13:11

A few things strike me, as a long time user of MN.

The first is that on the Relationship forum, an awful lot of women put up with a huge amount of bad behaviour from men, in ways I've (thankfully) never experienced. And come to ask if it's 'normal' and what they should do.

It makes me wonder what their self-worth is like, what's going on in education now that so many youngish women put up with it all. And why men are so bad at relationships. The recent discussion over men and role models is shocking- 40% have no father actively in their lives from early teens.

One other point (being cynical) is that MN is sometimes a bit slow to remove threads that are pretty sure to be fake, because they are 'trending' and bring clicks = revenue from advertising. The 'more drama' the more clicks.

JaninaDuszejko · 20/03/2025 13:46

CurlewKate · 07/03/2025 13:13

I don't mind the straight out fantasies-I always keep a little scepticism going. It's the pointless as exaggeration that I find really annoying. Nobody ever has one degree, they have at least two. There are always 5 children in a class with a common name-not 2 in the school. MILs always actually say out loud "I hate you with a passion"-they aren't just a bit distant and rude. Children have never so much as tasted a biscuit-they never only have one a week at playgroup. And so on.

Except some of us do have 2 degrees. I do, as do half my colleagues, a lot of my friends, my husband, my brother, my BIL and SIL and both my PILs. So for some of us having two degrees is normal (I know more people with two degrees than none). Five children in a class with a name is almost more believeable than two because of the way random distributions work. MIL being a bit distant and questionably rude isn't worth a thread, but someone being outrageously rude is. Saying a child has never had a biscuit is shorter to say than 'he has two biscuits a month at a playgroup we attend fortnightly', I struggle to care much about that, the essence is correct when talking about parenting.

I've been on more than one thread that I've subsequently seen being referred to as complete fantasy that I didn't think was. Salary discussions obviously but there was a S&B thread about coats that was given as an example of a 'fake thread with people lying' because 'who has more than one coat' and I did think 'well I do, and most people with a comfortable salary do'.

I suspect there are far fewer people lying on here than most people think. There are hundreds of thousands of people visiting the site everyday, so it's not that surprising to see discussions about things that are outside your own experience and so much of what people accuse of being fake is so humdrum.

Happypeoplearehappy · 20/03/2025 13:47

Honestly, I am not that invested in any post. I never remember user names even the ones who insult me 😂

Some posters remember user names and stalk others from different posts which I think is creepy and weird.

Sosoftandfluffycat · 20/03/2025 14:18

JaninaDuszejko · 20/03/2025 13:46

Except some of us do have 2 degrees. I do, as do half my colleagues, a lot of my friends, my husband, my brother, my BIL and SIL and both my PILs. So for some of us having two degrees is normal (I know more people with two degrees than none). Five children in a class with a name is almost more believeable than two because of the way random distributions work. MIL being a bit distant and questionably rude isn't worth a thread, but someone being outrageously rude is. Saying a child has never had a biscuit is shorter to say than 'he has two biscuits a month at a playgroup we attend fortnightly', I struggle to care much about that, the essence is correct when talking about parenting.

I've been on more than one thread that I've subsequently seen being referred to as complete fantasy that I didn't think was. Salary discussions obviously but there was a S&B thread about coats that was given as an example of a 'fake thread with people lying' because 'who has more than one coat' and I did think 'well I do, and most people with a comfortable salary do'.

I suspect there are far fewer people lying on here than most people think. There are hundreds of thousands of people visiting the site everyday, so it's not that surprising to see discussions about things that are outside your own experience and so much of what people accuse of being fake is so humdrum.

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I have several coats and I'm not even particularly well off so that's bizarre to think most people only have one 🤣

Crushed23 · 20/03/2025 15:06

JaninaDuszejko · 20/03/2025 13:46

Except some of us do have 2 degrees. I do, as do half my colleagues, a lot of my friends, my husband, my brother, my BIL and SIL and both my PILs. So for some of us having two degrees is normal (I know more people with two degrees than none). Five children in a class with a name is almost more believeable than two because of the way random distributions work. MIL being a bit distant and questionably rude isn't worth a thread, but someone being outrageously rude is. Saying a child has never had a biscuit is shorter to say than 'he has two biscuits a month at a playgroup we attend fortnightly', I struggle to care much about that, the essence is correct when talking about parenting.

I've been on more than one thread that I've subsequently seen being referred to as complete fantasy that I didn't think was. Salary discussions obviously but there was a S&B thread about coats that was given as an example of a 'fake thread with people lying' because 'who has more than one coat' and I did think 'well I do, and most people with a comfortable salary do'.

I suspect there are far fewer people lying on here than most people think. There are hundreds of thousands of people visiting the site everyday, so it's not that surprising to see discussions about things that are outside your own experience and so much of what people accuse of being fake is so humdrum.

Show quote history

Yeah, multiple degrees are very common for my generation (millennials) because we faced a touch graduate job market so many of us did Masters and PhDs to boost our employability or buy ourselves time to find a job.

The biscuit thing confuses me, I must admit. Why would you pretend you never give your child a biscuit? It takes better parenting skills to exercise judgement around moderation / a balanced diet than it does to have a blanket ban on things - that strikes me as far more lazy, almost as bad as letting kids eat what they want. Besides, nothing fosters a life-long unhealthy relationship with food than growing up with certain foods ‘banned’.

Callosity · 20/03/2025 16:35

I’d love it if mumsnet popped a post up occasionally saying “we’ve removed thread * parts1-3, because it’s a pile of fibs” rather than me wasting my time searching for an update 🤣
or even leave the thread up with a disclaimer saying “this thread is a work of fiction” - only on those proven to be of course.
Actually, I’m pleased that I’ve found this thread, as I’ve definitely ‘wondered’ about some posts. Especially when their child’s gender’s regularly change in error.