To think MN is basically is drowning in fantasists?

[Staggeredatthisadmission]

Who can you actually believe on MN? We spend hours…days…reading posts, debating, giving advice and genuinely becoming invested in other people’s worries, only to find out later down the line that they were in fact fake. Why? Some recent threads have been so upsetting that you almost feel you are living through it with them…and then they’re gone without a trace.

Is it a reflection on our own lives that we become invested in these posts. Does it say more about us than them? Are we using MN because we ourselves are lacking friendship or to fill a void?

I’m sure you mean threads 😊

I don't mind the straight out fantasies-I always keep a little scepticism going. It's the pointless as exaggeration that I find really annoying. Nobody ever has one degree, they have at least two. There are always 5 children in a class with a common name-not 2 in the school. MILs always actually say out loud "I hate you with a passion"-they aren't just a bit distant and rude. Children have never so much as tasted a biscuit-they never only have one a week at playgroup. And so on.

I do think many of the politically motivated ones are started with not genuine questioning motives ( more like an influencer) and are used by those with an agenda to then load into - not actually 'fake' as such but certainly disingenuous by not declaring if it's 'part of their job/freelance activity'

Was it!. Bloody hell, all those replies as well offering advice!?. 😳

What bout the recent brain tumour thread? Surely that can’t be fake??

There is a very prolific poo troll on MN, been around years.

I like this forum because I had a mum who didn't know how to be a mum. She didn't really help herself but didn't know how to. For that reason, I found some of the advice on here totally invaluable. The sort of stuff many mums would tell their daughters that I didn't get. I only wish I'd found it earlier.

Weirdly for years, I would often read mostly a men's forum as I didn't realise what I was missing. It was useful in a few practical ways and to do with a sport I like. For some reason, I thought mumsnet was just about makeup and clothes, etc. (Sorry, x)

I don't think that one was fake because it would have been too difficult for a layperson to invent the medical and logistical details that happened along the way. The OP also had a lengthy MN posting history without anything unusual.

Unfortunately it just seems like a case of not wanting to update anymore, which under the circumstances would be perfectly understandable.

How is it ever found out that they're lies though, and therefore deleted?

I must admit, I do believe everything I read 😂

Oh indeed. What a nasty shock for the poster and her family x

Yeh I’m the same. How are the fake threads discovered??

Most of them you can't tell for sure but it's the balance of probabilities. Or MN may well ask for any additional info behind the scenes and if they don't provide it it goes pouf.

Lots of people say this but it depends on the type of person. If you've had to spend the entire day alone waiting for someone to have major surgery, i can see how it's useful to tap into a massive forum and ask for experiences. There is always lots of time to kill amd nerves are frazzles and you need to get it down/out somewhere.

Or do I lol

It's actually very easy via IP address. The IP number is basically a locator for your physical location and listed alongside every account (only visible for admins). This is how MN can check for previously banned posters. If someone is starting multiple accounts using different emails, their IP address is still the same because they're using the same internet provider, device and browser. This check probably has to be done manually which is why some fake threads stay up for quite a while before it's discovered that it's a PBP.

It's not foolproof though as someone can use VPNs, different devices or they've simply moved homes or are posting while on holiday. Sometimes MN posts an update stating "there's nothing to suggest the OP isn't genuine" but those can also be taken with a grain of salt.

That might help identify a specific PBP but it's not going to tell you that someone has vastly exaggerated their boyfriend's text messages or SIL's wedding requirements.

Some of them are obviously made-up cobblers right from the get-go, yet hundreds of people fall over themselves to post on them while the rest of us just roll our eyes, thinking 'pull the other one, it's got bells on'.

Oh, that's me though! I really believe most of the threads and I feel so bad for some OPs. I don't know how to spot a fake thread/story, personally. I do wonder sometimes why I can't find threads i was following before, but put that down to my mushy brain. 🫠

I don't think those threads should necessarily be deleted.

When so many posters spend time and energy offering good advice, advice that could have helped someone in a similar situation, couldn't MN just add a warning that the op is possibly fake at the start of the thread?

And how angry they get with posters who point out that their heroine has discovered an affair, put the house up for sale, consulted a solicitor, changed the kids schools and had major surgery all in the space of three days might not be allowed they appear.

The Oliver's Army threads a PP mentioned were a prime candidate for that and as well as being very distributing the lengths someone went to in making them.

Also the faux astonishment that their threads are spanning into 2 and 3 "oh I just can't believe this is still ongoing. Lolz". 🙄.

And I can't comment on if it's genuine because I haven't read it but there apparently has been a thread started by someone with a very sick child who has now gone off grid. The last few days there have been threads started specifically by poster clamouring for updates. Which is just mawkish.

...someone with a very sick child who has now gone off grid

She has started a new thread with an update today, but it is truly awful that she felt the need to apologise for not updating sooner. I'm sure that she had more pressing concerns than responding to all the people that @-ed her in the last few days.

The problem is that MN have a history of deleting threads. This leads too many users to believe any old nonsense that remains up must be true.

Not every thread that is deleted is fake and not thread that remains up is true.

I don’t see the harm in either.

It is. Those kind of posters really annoy me. I'm sure they'll all claim that they were "genuinely concerned" but they treat someone's life like an episode of EastEnders. Next install please.

Bear in mind, threads sometimes get removed with a vague message from MN about them being ‘not quite what they seem’ when they are in fact genuine posters

It happened to me – I was getting loads of support from the thread at a really challenging time, and then randomly the thread was just deleted. Obviously there’s no way for that poster to alert people who read the thread that they are in fact a real person