Is this normal after 2 dates?

[Daisydaisydaisy1]

I went on a date with a brother of a colleague I once worked with. It was via Facebook. Chatted a little bit, then arranged to meet him for a drink.
Date 1 - chatted about general stuff but it was mainly about his past relationships (both had mh difficulties). He spoke about dating history (just one who he said was lovely but they never found the time). He spoke about his band and his 7 year old son. I did ask him questions, so I suppose that’s why he spoke so much about himself.
He continued to message but just basic how was your day etc, what’s for tea kind messages. I asked more about him.
Date 2 - met again for another drink, chatted again about the (one) date he had been on and how it didn’t come to anything etc etc. I mentioned my DC’s, and said I’m sure you can see by my Facebook, I’m also a nan. He said he wasn’t aware and hadn’t looked through my Facebook. I said it’s nice to get to know each other in person anyway. He didn’t ask further after that comment. We spoke more about his plans for the year.
Messaged in between but more with some innuendo thrown in. He wanted to know what I thought of him and if I’m chatting to others!
I have tried to initiate some more in depth conversations but he has not asked me anything about my life. I’m bored and I’m not feeling any interest as in interest in me.
He has mentioned date 3. He has messaged to say how much he would like to kiss me. I’d like him to ask more about me. I have no desire to kiss him at this stage. Am I expecting too much after 2 dates and back and forth messages for 3 weeks.

What do you both do for work? This usually comes up in conversation and is interesting yet not too personal.

Sorry to be crude but he's only interested in your vagina. He couldn't care less about who you are as a person.

He works in cyber security. I’m a nurse. I have asked him about his job. He’s in a band, I have asked about that. I mentioned my job today and the training I’m about to do. He just said ‘ah good to keep your options open’.
He hasn’t even asked how many children I have let alone their names. I just find it very surface level! Not sure if it’s normal!

He's not interested in you but he wants sex.

Do you think? Yeah, I probably already was thinking this but wasn’t sure what’s normal. I’m used to love bombing! So definitely not wanting that but at least some interest as me as a person (apart from what I have had for tea).

Sadly too normal.

Some men seem to think that their own lives are absolutely fascinating. I once got fed up with a guy on a first date after a lot of this and said directly: "Would you like to ask me anything?"

"No I don't think so" he says.

God knows what goes on in their brains.

He sounds like he is a surface level guy and if you don’t fancy him what’s the point anyway?

Maybe try one more date to get clarity and if he surprises you so be it.

He doesn’t care who you are. You’re a woman who will hopefully give him sex.

I cannot be bothered with incurious, self-centered people.

It's fun to be regaled by a good storyteller but that doesn't sound like him. And the utter disinterest in you (other than kissing you) makes him sound like a clod.

It’s just so off putting!
I don’t think I have fancied anyone straight away!

I forgot to add, he made a comment of what he likes doing at night time, then said he knew what he’d rather be doing in bed (wink). Then followed by saying we can talk about that on date 3!

Look, I don't think this is going anywhere, but if you want to put him on the spot, tell him: "from what you have told me, you are ......... (summarise what he has told you about himself)...... - who do you think I am?

Edited: just saw your update 🤑...... no, just no!!

Christ throw him back, the number of dates I went on and they just blathered on about themselves. With the odd surreptitious look at my boobs. When I met exBF he looked me in the eye, asked questions and listened carefully. I could have cheered!

He's obviously hoping you're going to adhere to the law of date 3 = sex. Apart from showing zero interest in you and being a bore, beware the man whose exes are all allegedly crazy.

He's only after a shag, sorry OP. I've been single for years, on and off dating sites and had a few dates in that time. If they don't ask you any questions, it's because they genuinely don't care about you or your life. The amount of men that have asked what my favourite position is before they've even asked where I'm from or what my job is is laughable 🤦‍♀️😆

I just wanted to say thank you for the laugh - I snorted out my water reading your comment! 😅 Especially as it reminded me of when I met someone on a first date and he said he should have bough his CV for me to read! 😮

The wink would immediately make me run a mile. but honestly if you don't want to snog him and he's making no effort why are you even asking the question? Get rid. Boring. FInd someone more interesting/interested or at least who you actually fancy!

He sounds boring as fuck. Tell him you're too fun for him and end it.

He just wants a shag.
He can't even be bothered to ask you about your children which is a fairly obvious question to ask and he could have asked you more about your grandchild too.
Also you said you were a nurse so there's plenty of questions he could ask about that.
He's just not interested in you as a person. He's interested in sex.

Bin him off.

Erghh! You deserve so much better! I remember dating guys that all they did was offload to me about previous dates or ex girlfriends. I used to sit there thinking to myself (in between my yawns) get me outta here, they’re not using me for free counselling! He’s not the one for you lovely. Don’t waste anymore of your time.

Unfortunately there’s a lot of men out there whose idea of a greatest is a monologue about how great they are, their crazy ex and how all women only go for bad guys which is why they’re single because they’re sooooooo nice.

Then they try and ram their tongue down your throat and grope your arse as they walk you to your car.

And expect the second date to be a horizontal one.

I wouldn’t bother with a 3rd date. I’d text with a generic ‘not getting a spark’ message and then unmatch.

I don't think I would be dating anyone I didn't want to kiss by the end of the first date.

I went on a date with a bloke who literally told me his life story without pausing for breath.
Any time tried to change subject and mention myself or my life he interrupted and said ‘oh that reminds me’ and turned it back to himself.

I doubt he even remembered my name afterwards and yet I knew his entire history

Yeah, I had this a few times when speaking to men on the phone with OLD. Just a long (boring) monologue from them about themselves. 🥱

He's not interested in YOU, OP - he's just a basic model and only interested in sex.

Many years ago I worked with a chap who was engaged to a nurse. I asked him which field she worked in. He didn't know. Had no curiosity about it either. We both worked for the NHS at the time as well, so you could argue he should have some professional interest.

Some men (OK and some women) are just like that. Have no curiosity about other people. I, for one, don't find this attractive. I don't like being grilled either but there's plenty of wiggle room in between.

Have you watched later daters? A show about dating in later life, produced by Michelle Obama. I loved the advice given to one woman who just talked about herself non stop, they said it's better to be interested than interesting! I can think of a few (all men) who could do with that advice...