Should I get a Divorce?

[Corine1974]

My husband of 14 years is still paying mortgage on his x wife home. He has a 25 year old living in the house. She is not working and cannot take on the mortgage. My husband does not want his son to be homeless. I am fed up with this issue because I want him to break all ties with his x wife but he is refusing to take his name off the mortgage

Sounds like he's keeping the mortgage on for his child as he doesn't want his child to be homeless. Understandable.

What's your finacial situation?

I’m really sorry OP but you are being completely unreasonable.

he isn’t paying the mortgage on his ex’s home, he’s paying the mortgage on his home where his son resides.

you can’t just take your name off a mortgage, the other person has to buy you out. She doesn’t work so she can’t.

he will never cut ties with his ex w as they have a son together?!!

jesus

I agree. This is his child!

So is his son the 25 Yr old?

His son isn't a child he is a 25 year old grown man!

The housing market is terrible for young people, and the job market is terrible for women who used to be SAHMs or had the lesser job because they were the default parent. That's just the way it is, its a reason not an excuse.

You probably don't want to hear this but this isn't a boundary, you are being controlling. You don't get to dictate whether or not your partner has contact with his ex wife, or supports his child. All you can do is decide if its right for you or not, and if you can't let it go you end the relationship.

Still his flesh and blood. He hardly wants him to be homeless.

I don’t think you’re being controlling at all. He’s obviously still enmeshed with his ex. His son is a grown adult. I’m sure he could just give him some money for a rental deposit instead of taking your family income and giving it to another woman.

I might have the tiniest bit of sympathy if his son were a child, but he could be paying this forever. Does that mean you’ll potentially be working until you die just so he can bankroll his ex? I would get rid.

25 year old child. 😂

Maybe the 25 year old should support themselves. Mental.

I most certainly beg to differ - she's neither being controlling or unreasonable.

The current marriage is 14 years vintage - plenty of time for a SAHM to get back into the work place. 25 yr old son - some limited help could be offered here, but really not full housing cost . Is the DS paying any rent ? Is the Ex paying any rent ? But in paying for the mortgage the DH is housing 2 people he really doesn't have to support. My 26 yr old DD manages to support herself, living in London on a teacher's salary. Not saying she has a lot of spare cash at the end of the month, but she manages OK.

This will be costing him money - is he expecting his current wife to house, feed and clothe him ? If he does expect this then, by extension he is expecting his current wife to financially support his ex and his DS. I can understand why she's miffed and I certainly don't see her as controlling or unreasonable.

However OP your options are limited. You can't force your DH to change his financial outgoings. All you can do is decide how you are going to respond to this situation, eg stop financially supporting him if that's what's happening, separating your finances from his, negotiating when he is going to stop. Asking what provision he has made in his will for his ex, his DS and his wife ?

What was in the financial settlement when they divorced?

So you’ve seen this post and you’re the new wife? According to this post the ex wife is not the mother of his 25 year old adult child, she’s the step mum!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5285390-trying-to-evict-adult-stepchild

Bit of a coincidence if these are two different posts? I’m confused….