Female coworker should I be concerned?

[HappyLife4days]

I recently found out about a female coworker that my husband is close with from attending his work Christmas do. They danced together, she followed us round all night and he was concerned when a ‘creepy’ man showed interest in her and left me to go check on her.

since then he has told me that she’s just a friend but she keeps coming back up. I found out they occasionally go on lunch together to the shops, make breakfast together at work (eat the same thing), she text him to say she would be late to work so she wouldn’t be able to make breakfast so he made it for her. He made sure she wasn’t walking on her own one night, they’ve given each other lifts.

I’ve said I don’t feel comfortable with any of it, don’t feel comfortable with him going on lunch with her etc. she’s married and has a kid as are we and I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant.

what should I do? Am I being controlling by asking him not to go on lunch with her? She’s come up a few times now and nothing seems to change if anything I just find out that they are closer then I thought. There’s more to it but can’t write everything that has happened

I would instantly dump any man who jovially told me he had a “work wife” and would expect the same if it was vice versa. It’s a nauseating term.

This!!!!

I’ve had similar relationships with men at work that were entirely innocent. Lifts, visits to the sandwich shop, and so on. In one place of work, two were happily married and I was single (and their boss.) One is still happily married and the other one went off with another woman at work - it was pretty obvious they were having an affair. In another workplace I regularly went for drinks and on holidays with a single male colleague - ten years and we’ve both dated other people and discussed them. We’ve never so much as held hands. I can truthfully say that I didn’t have any EA or any other affair.

However, that’s not to say your husband isn’t having an affair. What is your gut instinct telling you?

Yep. Work wife / husband screams emotional affair or at the very least its highly disrespectful to the actual partner
Hate this term

Could all be totally innocent. Women tend to be a lot better at genuinely being 'just friends' than men do, though: As things stand, all is probably good but if she were to be single, or unhappy....... There's the old saying along the lines of 'Showing a man an attractive woman and tell him he can just be friends, is like giving a football to a small boy and telling him he can't kick it'.

@HappyLife4days, I see that you never returned after you wrote your initial post. How are things going?

If your husband cannot see your apparent unhappiness with the situation, then he is not worth having.

This is totally normal in my workplace with nothing but friendship in all parties. But if you're uncomfortable then your DH should pull back.

I’ve never had a ‘work husband’ but they’re more common than you think! And perfectly innocent in a lot of cases. My observation for what it’s worth is two people who have worked together a good while who click and have the same commitment to getting their job done well and then joke about being work wife/husband etc is fine but if one of them starts referring to the other like this after a very short period or it’s not even close collaborative work then I’d say that’s flirting and an entirely different thing! It’s like a ‘safe’ way to say they fancy each other and if I were the OH of one of them that wouldn’t be fine by me!