Miserable but we love each other

[Lifeistestingme]

Has anyone else been in the situation with your DP where you both love each other a lot but you're also miserable? We argue so much recently, about anything and everything. It's got to the point where it's hard for us to go a day without a full on argument. It's not healthy, but even when we seem to try really hard not to argue, we still do. We can't agree on most things, it's hard for us to ever compromise without one of us being unhappy and bitter. I'm just tired of it. Part of me wonders if I should call it quits but the other part of me is extremely attached to him and I love him a lot. But it can't carry on and nothing we try works.. it's got to the point I'm planning on not talking much the next few days just to avoid a potential argument. Any advice? Anyone been in this situation?

Honestly having a one year old would push any couple to breaking point.
just remember it’s a hard time and it will pass.
ride out the storm together if you love each other.
when you’re discussing things, use I statements instead of you statements. Instead of “you’re irritating me with your loud singing” for example say “I feel irritated, I think I’m overstimulated, please can you sing in the other room or less loud?” And try and be kind to each other. Try and have some time to yourself each week and some phone-free couples time in the evening when baby is asleep.

I think it is possible to come back from this because it sounds like you both want to. You say you both start arguments, perhaps you could try for a week not starting/engaging in them and on being as positive as possible in your interactions, plan a couples night out/in, etc, then if you model that behaviour he may follow.

All this " we love each other but" sounds like you're deluding yourselves. If you loved each other enough you'd make the effort to see the others pov and compromise/you'd both pull your weight/bite your tongues/meet half way enough to make it work. It sounds like you both want your own way.

If neither of you are actually capable of that because of your personalities then cut your losses while you're still capable of co-parenting civilly.

If only one of you is making an effort then ...

you love each other, have a young child, and are dealing with major life changes and stress. i think you can’t afford not to try couples counseling. breaking up with have much greater financial and emotional consequences. marriage and love take work and i don’t think it’s as simple as it’s run its course, doesn’t make you happy, etc etc

I think you’re confusing love and co-dependency. This is not a good relationship. You only get one life. Don’t waste it arguing with someone whose views are diametrically opposed to yours. Find someone you’re compatible with.

I wouldn’t make any big decisions with a 1 year old and sleep deprivation. Make a deal to try to be nice to each other when possible and attempt to muddle through for a bit.

Splitting up is expensive. Therapy is cheap compared to that. If you can’t find the money then there are loads of good books about communication skills etc. one idea is have a weekly meeting where you both list the stuff that’s driving you mad. Write an agenda etc eg childcare, money, cooking etc That way the bickering is reduced as you’ve had an adult conversation about stuff at an agreed time