Not sure how to feel about this

[househunting123]

My DP is a lovely lovely man, he's a wonderful partner, calm and generous and funny and accepting...he's honestly pretty much perfect.

I was recently using his PC (with his knowledge) to upload some documents to a website and was clicking about to locate the documents for upload and stumbled across a file with 4 folders inside, each named with a girls name. You can guess what each folder contained 😕.

I recognised two of the names, one was someone he was casually seeing for a while, about a year before we got together, and another was someone that he was with for 4 years or so up until around 2015. We still see her now and then as his sister is friends with her.

I was just in complete shock as I never ever would have expected him to have kept things like this, let alone have them stored in named folders like that. It's obviously completely disrespectful to the girls in question and I have no idea if he still looks at them. The date on the file holding the folders was while we were together so I know he at least moved/organised them whilst being with me and so made a conscious decision to keep them.

I haven't mentioned anything to him yet as I felt bad for stumbling across them (I genuinely wasn't prying) and with other things going on in our lives it wasn't the right time to bring up an upsetting topic.

He is the last person I'd expect to have something like this and I don't know whether I'd be overreacting if I bring it up and ask him to delete. Or am I under reacting by questioning whether I should mention? I've been trying to forget about it but it's playing on my mind.

"I recognised two of the names, one was someone he was casually seeing for a while, about a year before we got together, and another was someone that he was with for 4 years or so up until around 2015. We still see her now and then as his sister is friends with her".

The shame is his, not yours to own but you now know a side to your man that was previously hidden. How are you going to be able to look this second woman you write of in the eyes again knowing what you know?. He also kept on saying this all predated you as some sort of mantra but that does not make it ok either. There are many red flags here re him.

Not normal behaviour. Who keeps intimate photos of partners they aren’t intimate with, it’s quite a big betrayal to these women. Most people would feel wrong keeping such images and so they wouldn’t. Along time ago I found a file on a boyfriend’s computer, we shared this computer at timed for work and we were young, about 22. It was just strange women in bikinis. I couldn’t come back from this. Women aren’t objects. Everyone is decent and respectful until they aren’t.