Should we go to next door neighbour's funeral?

[Chayyp]

Neighbour was in early 80's but has sadly died.
His wife is still alive and will continue to live next to us.

We have had a bit of an up and down relationship with them over the last few years, despite being old the man was hard work and seemed to be deliberately difficult at times. We always found him a bit suffocating and treated our young kids like he was owed their time and we were being unfriendly if we didn't want our kids spending lots of time with them. It was always a bit weird and uncomfortable how he wanted to be heavily involved in our lives, despite us only being neighbours and not family.
Anyway I'm sure people will come on to say it's a shame and he sounded friendly etc but in our experience he was too much.

Anyway, now he's no longer here his DW has invited us to the funeral. His wife is lovely and very sweet so I feel we should go for her. However she probably won't notice if we're there or not, especially as they have a massive family.
WWYD?

Ok, a couple of hours or a half day. The point is they don't both need to take a day off. The op keeps saying 'we'.

Can you tell her you can’t get time off work to go to funeral but you’ll drop in to the wake afterwards

It sounds like you cannot afford to take the annual leave you would need to use to attend.

Personally. I would call over with flowers and offer my sympathies and just explain that you cannot make the funeral due to work commitments.

I went to the service, but declined the wake. I was free that day. Different to needing to take time off from work.

Well, personally @Gloriia I don’t see why either of them would take time off work for the funeral of someone they don’t like. To “support” someone they barely know and who probably won’t even notice if they don’t go?

She has asked the OP to come and might be upset if OP doesn't attend.

Yes, I absolutely would go out of respect and to be neighbourly.

Yes, but as I said in the post you quoted, has she asked the OP and her husband directly, because she particularly wants them - them specifically - to be there? Or has she asked all the neighbours in case anyone would like to go along, and thinks one or two might turn up?