At what age did your DP/DH become a boring middle aged man?

[Oatta]

Mine has just turned 36 and describes himself as a middle aged man! I’m finding him really boring. Everything is grey and a bit lifeless if you know what I mean.
Im a year older and still feel young and full of life. Definitely not ready for a slow quiet life.

36??? That's so young!

We were just in the beginning of parenthood then so, while we were constantly knackered, I think we both still felt young.

It really is young though and not middle aged if you think it's only half way to 72!

You need to shake him out of this rut and pronto.

Think it's a personality thing not an age thing. My husband is older and full of beans. Passionate about his family and hobbies and always cheers me up if I have a bad day

He obviously has the odd down day every so often but will snap out of it and apologize if he's been grumpy.

It's lifestyle as well I think. If you've got a lot of kids it's easy to get into the slump of not doing much socialising as a couple or with others and need to make the effort to do stuff.

I think people can get in the habit of calling themselves middle aged, and then old, sometimes half jokingly, or because they're embracing being older (maybe they want to slow down a bit if they're stressed at work), or because they can't avoid noticing the changes in themselves since they were 'young'.

The danger is that they say it so often and convince themselves they are actually middle aged / old, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

My friend's husband started saying he was an 'old man' in his mid 50s, probably in jest, party because he was a bit daunted that some signs of older age were creeping up on him. She felt he started using it as an excuse not to do things. Eventually she told him that 55 wasn't old by anyone's measure, and that she didn't find 'old men' attractive, so could he please start acting like the fit and healthy 50 somthing he was, and not like someone in their 70s. She wanted to be married to someone her own age with energy and optimism.

The fact it came across as unattractive to her was enough to jolt him out of it.

OH? Not yet , 50 something. Tbh, evolving to 25 would he an achievement.

"What are you? 5?!?" Is said often in our house.

Me on the other hand? I've felt like a "gerr off my lawn" type since I was 30. And I'm a woman!!

Mine is 55 and a grumpy old man .

In utero 🤔

We are in our 50s and still go out every weekend both days and often in the week. I am not interested in pottering around the house.

At 19

Husband is 75 and definitely not boring, although not middle aged either 😂

When he hit 50 last year.

He's far from boring but he's definitely in that grumpy old man phase of life.

I have to say I’m a bit at loss as what you mean by ‘middle age man = boring and lifeless vs you not middle age = full of life’.

I didn’t realise that becoming middle age (which is just an age) suddenly transforms you into someone else you weren’t before.

Seriously, could you describe your issue better? Like He isn’t socialising anymore or he isn’t having wild night out but prefers an evening at home with a beer/glass of wine? Is it what you mean?

Definitely a personality thing. My husband is 44 and has become more boring as time has gone on. Have you got children?

I'd find him boring as well, OP and I'm 62 this year😂

Mine is a young 53-year-old! OK, he doesn’t look young, greying temples and a middle-aged belly, but he’s always interested in new things. I’m the one who can be lazy sometimes.

Get your DH off the sofa and doing things, he’s being ridiculous.

So many men become mr victor meldrew or become a richard living with a hyacinth.

1. Started penny pinching
2. Worried how late it would be getting home
3. Heating dialled up something fierce
4. Insisted on wearing ancient threadbare clothes to nice places
5. Grumpy constant bloody moaning and complaining
6. Too tired for sex
7. Questionable hygiene standards
8. Permanent frown line
9. A laugh as rare as gold dust
10. Didn’t want to see nor chat with him anymore

I think you can guess what happened. And never been happier! Like ditching a bloody giant groaning albatross!

Dh is sliding into that territory at 44 but am I!

Well you are middle aged at about 40, DH is 56 and I do not find him boring. The only real indication is hair loss and laughter lines.

My mate is 75 and a bloke and is still quite fun really. I think it’s more peoples true personalities shine though as they age.

Mines heading past the middle aged to old but certainly isn't boring , grey or lifeless and isn't ready for a slow quiet life !

DH is 57 and definitely not a grumpy old man. Quite the opposite in fact.

It’s okay he’ll soon have a mid life crisis and perk up once he’s got his motorbike and mistress 😁
Or he’s just irredeemably dull….
Or you manage the agenda and make sure you’re both doing interesting different stuff to the extent that it becomes the normal routine?
Try coming up with 6 options for everything - sex, clothing, food, meals and trips out, holidays - everything! Roll a dice, break the routine before it breaks you

Mine has been middle aged since he was born. I met him when he was 22 and I was 32 (and divorced with one child) and he’s always been the “oldest” out of the pair of us. He’s now 38 and still exactly the same as he was when I met him, falls asleep in the chair, loves random nerdy Tv programmes, can’t be bothered to go out socially at all (which suits me as I’m the same). Suits me fine though because I’m exactly the same now…! Been together a very long time now.

I didn’t mean for it to come across as me saying that at midlife you are boring and lifeless.
He's not grumpy, he’s quiet, shuffles around, watches endless sports on the TV & gets injured from any type of excursion 😅.
I do tell him I find old men unattractive. If he ever grows one of those beach ball belly’s I’m gone.

Tbh the way you are describing him some women would take no issue with him

Why not just go and chase some exciting stallion and allow him to be his comfortable self?

He clearly can’t please you.

Have you had your head turned by an exciting colleague who is off doing exciting things every night?