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Relationships

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Original poster

The script and STDs

61 replies

TinyMouseTheatre · 22/02/2025 09:38

Someone I know, and no, it's definitely not me, has a DH who has given her Chlamydia.

He's telling her he got it from a toilet seat and refusing to leave the family home and has cast himself as the injured party. I think that this is to make it easier to justify leaving her but on his terms.

How can I make her see that she's being fed the script and has anyone got any ideas in what the next part of the script will be please?

OP posts:

smithey855 · 22/02/2025 10:39

This is all very strange. Sorry OP.

most cases of chlamydia don’t present any symptoms. So why did he go to the GP in the first place? It would be very unlikely he would have thought he had an STD.

Why did he bring his wife? This makes no sense, and it’s not because he’s ‘dumb’ I just don’t believe it’s true.

Chlamydia can lay dormant for over 10 years. So it’s very possible he’s been a carrier prior to meeting his now DW.

The only reason I can think of taking his DW to the GP is because he genuinely has not cheated, and in fact he suspects his DW has cheated.

as others have said, I have never known a GP to call in someone onto the surgery to discuss STD test results ( unless serious) - it’s usually text or a call.

Toooldtorave · 22/02/2025 11:31

TinyMouseTheatre · 22/02/2025 09:45

She was in the appointment when he was given the diagnosis and the GP said to her that you need to get tested, and you need to tell your GF to get tested too. He protested that he didn't have a GF and the GP just said, girlfriend, boyfriend, whoever it is that you're sleeping with.

I think she's been fed so many lies by him she can't see how bloody obvious sone of them are.

Show quote history

Oh I love the sound of that GP - open and telling it straight and cutting out any nonsense from the DH! If your friend won’t listen to a medical expert all you can do is what PPs have suggested, in a gentle way so there’s no falling out (she might take it out on you) and wait for the further fallout. And try not to get too stressed yourself with the drama (I realise it’s frustrating when you see someone you love and care about being treated like a mug and they’re doing nothing about it).

Toooldtorave · 22/02/2025 11:40

Maybe he thought he had something more sinister and had a variety of tests done (my friend had blood in semen and the GP thought it could be cancer so ran various panel of tests but included a full std panel: he didn’t take his wife to results appointment, and it was a private doctor so may be different to normal NHS practice, but he had apparently been having an affair and did indeed have an STD! Dirty rat - I was shocked he told me, but he actually thought he had cancer).

Othermentions · 22/02/2025 14:15

Toooldtorave · 22/02/2025 11:31

Show quote history

But he presumably had zilch idea about the relationship

all he knew was a man in front of him had a diagnosis of an STD, with his wife sitting next to him. What’s to say the wife hadn’t passed it to him

Othermentions · 22/02/2025 14:16

smithey855 · 22/02/2025 10:39

This is all very strange. Sorry OP.

most cases of chlamydia don’t present any symptoms. So why did he go to the GP in the first place? It would be very unlikely he would have thought he had an STD.

Why did he bring his wife? This makes no sense, and it’s not because he’s ‘dumb’ I just don’t believe it’s true.

Chlamydia can lay dormant for over 10 years. So it’s very possible he’s been a carrier prior to meeting his now DW.

The only reason I can think of taking his DW to the GP is because he genuinely has not cheated, and in fact he suspects his DW has cheated.

as others have said, I have never known a GP to call in someone onto the surgery to discuss STD test results ( unless serious) - it’s usually text or a call.

I agree

I think this friend is attention seeking and dragging the op in to it

smithey855 · 22/02/2025 16:41

Othermentions · 22/02/2025 14:16

I agree

I think this friend is attention seeking and dragging the op in to it

Show quote history

I wasn't actually suggesting its the friend, I am doubting the OP's storey/ version of events.

Original post by OP says that he has given her Chlamydia - Then a few posts later it transpires she hasn't even been tested yet.

The fact that OP also said ' report me if you think i'm a troll ' is weird.

username299 · 22/02/2025 16:49

None of it makes sense so I would stay out of it.

Othermentions · 22/02/2025 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

TinyMouseTheatre · 22/02/2025 17:51

Ah I did say he has given her Chlamydia. My apologies, we don't know that but yet.

OP posts:

Othermentions · 22/02/2025 18:03

y. I think that this is to make it easier to justify leaving her but on his terms.

But also - he’s refusing to move out?

Original poster

TinyMouseTheatre · 22/02/2025 18:18

But also - he’s refusing to move out

Yes. He won't be the first man that's engineered a situation to make him look like the one that's been wronged.

We've all heard of men selling their new partners stories of their crazy ex when actually they've been the one with unreasonable behaviour.

Anyway, as a PP said, I don't think I've been told the correct details. If she does bring it up again I'll mention DAVRO but that's about it.

Thank you to everyone who suggested links/resources

OP posts:

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