I have been married to a narcissistic man for 20 years. Put up with all sorts of abuse. The past year has been a living hell. This morning I was woken up by him pulling my cover off and kicking me and being pulled out of bed and told to pack my stuff and get out.
Then he went and brought in a big roll of bin bags and threw them at me and told me to pack my stuff and f off.
I was so stunned I didn't really know what was going on at first. So he grabbed the bags and started filling them with all my stuff and throwing at the front door.
This hullabaloo woke up all my children and he then started kicking stuff all over the house and kicked a pair of shoes which almost hit our daughter in the face while shouting take your effing kids with you I want you all out now.
I tried to film him but he attacked me and took the phone.
So I just helped my kids pack up our stuff as quick as we could. It's not easy to pack in that situation.
We grabbed all the things we thought we'd need.
As it was all downstairs ready to go in the car he said to the kids go into the other room me and your mum need to chat first.
Then he said to me I'm giving you an ultimatum either go away now or I'll let you stay if you agree to do everything I say when I say it and understand I am the boss of this house and respect me etc etc. gave me a list of conditions I had to agree to. 1 was give him sex as many times as he wants it and every time he asks. This is because I recently refused as I had a bad flu and literally couldn't get myself out of bed never mind provide sex! 2 was don't speak unless I have been given permission and don't argue with anything he says. 3 was give him the respect he deserves as the man of the house. 4 was don't treat him badly and put the kids first and give them attention because he needs attention more.
He said if I don't agree to those conditions I'm not a wife and I need to go. For some reason at that moment I just had enough. I just said no I don't agree to those conditions and I never will and I got my kids put our stuff in the car and left. I don't think he thought I'd leave. As I was packing the car he said you'll be back in a few days begging me to take you back.
I'm now in my dad's spare room sleeping on the floor in sleeping bags with my kids. I have no job, wasn't allowed to work, he controlled all the money.
Part of me thinks what did I do. But a huge part of me thinks this is the first night in a long time where I won't have to wonder if he'll attack me in my sleep. And yet I can't sleep!
Any advice appreciated.