What would you do ??

[Lifeiswild]

Hey, to whoever is reading this so my mind has been going back-and-forth in confusion about my next steps so hear this out I have two little kids five and nearly 2 with one man me and this man had a fun toxic relationship before the kids so I basically ‘accidentally’ got pregnant before the kids he actually had another woman and he chose another woman over me he but then after having my first child we got back together tried to make things work and then had the second child whilst carrying the second child he actually cheated on me and we did go through a lot of issues to the point I was so ready to be done with this relationship so in overall, I’ve not been that happy with him in this relationship. However, my child’s father has now changed and has been showing more characteristics of the kind of man that I would like because I have ended the relationship so he’s been realising that I am not playing and he’s showing me a lot of love and ‘seriousness’. Now here’s the plot twist I also have deeep deep feelings for someone else who is the perfect match for me and honestly is seriously my true love. We actually knew each other before I met my child’s father or before being pregnant the first time, my true love has always been in love with me since knowing me but we just never was able to communicate well enough to make our situation work but it’s always been respectful happiness deep intimacy and real love so right now I’m in a place where I don’t know who to go with because my true love is pursuing me and wants to be with me and so does my child’s father my child’s father has shown some change but I don’t know if this change will last what would you do if you was me bearing in mind I do have love for my child’s father, but I’m not in love with him and I do love my true love with all
my heart

Yeah, I know exactly what it's like.

Rushing straight into another relationship with a new man doesn't give you time to heal or reflect.

I just think you'd be better off clearing the decks and taking your time, instead of hopping straight into the next relationship.

End your relationship with the children's father properly. Figure out how to co-parent with him. Sort out your living situation and focus on making the transition easy for your dc.

Date when the dust settles. If Mr True Love is so great, he'll be understanding.

Yeah she has acknowledged that, and if you know what that’s like then you should have more empathy. Constructive helpful advice goes much further than being nasty

Thanks, growing up I didn’t have much direction so when I fell pregnant the first time it was due to the lack of many things I was young and senseless I definitely know that and have healed from that. Having my daughter was actually planned out and we both wanted to have another child especially for my son to have a sibling. My home is actually very stable like I said I have a successful career and I am always working on myself but thank you I do agree with you to an extent and the best thing for me to do is focus heavily on me and my kids

I haven't been nasty.

Yeah thanks for the advice

No one said you were..I was referring to other posters? you replied to my post saying people were being mean lol

Perhaps you should have put in a paragraph if you were merely saying I lack empathy. 🙄

Personally I would choose neither guy.

If anything it sounds like you don't even want the 2nd guy, you've just had him dangling on a string for years whilst you run around chasing your children's dad to play happy families. He's only doing the pick me dance now because your pulling away from his spell and it's quite obviously working.

If you were in love with this 2nd man you would of picked him years ago AND there would be no question about who you should pick now. It should already be very obvious but it's not. Its never been guy 2 and it never will be. Let him go find someone who actually wants him and sees only him as enough! He deserves that atleast. Also move on from your children's dad, he isn't healthy choice either.

Thanks I definitely do want to be with him as I stated before the first time we dated that’s when I fell for him but we did go through a few issues and I thought the smart choice was to pick my child’s father because I I already had a child with him so I wanted to give my son that family unit but like I said, my my child’s father messed up our relationship. I definitely was not danglingThe second guy along we have a strong friendship/connection so we have always been in each other’s life we have never been on bad terms to the point where we cut each other off from each other’s life we have always given each other a lot of great advice and that’s always been our connection and what always kept us in touch

In high school your had health class, am I wrong? My parents divorced when I was 11 and by the time I was 14 I put myself on birth control. Im also 68 years old so it’s been around for along time. My mother around, she had to work and my father didn’t contribute but I knew I didn’t want a child while being a child.

Please focus on your immediate family bc that should be your main goal. Men just bring confusion into your life. You don’t need one especially since you seem to be doing well for yourself. Good luck

Hi so I’m not here to ask about whether I’ve should have been on birth control or not I’ve already gone through the consequences of that. I’m not you your not me so do not compare thank you. And FYI I was on birth control when I was with my child’s father it expired so I had to get it replaced and it was during that time that I fell pregnant but like I already said and acknowledged I was young with little sense

Are you very young? You sound young. Just focus on your kids and putting their needs first for now.

Sure, if you say so. I’ve never heard of out dated birth control. They are in little vacuum packed packets. Did they get compromised somehow.

And then you had another baby, right? Why?

Just focus on the children you have. No need getting pregnant again. Right?

And this advice I’d give to my own daughter which I’ve done and will be telling my grandchildren the same. A man won’t make your life better. Especially for the child whose not this person’s kid

Thanks I appreciate the advice from everyone. I’m going to focus on me and my kids

Are you actually the OP talking to herself? 'wth'

The way you wrote "accidentally" obviously came across as you saying you did it intentionally and pretended it was an accident. Why did you write accidentally in quote marks?

Think about your children and put them before both men and what sounds like a chaotic lifestyle , they should be your priority obviously.

**have you read the OP? I think she’s got more on that replying to her own thread😂😂 what the hell is a common phrase

Looool omg what use would that be ? What a complete weirdo

I’m going to say the last thing about this. If you get pregnant by a man who you told that you were on birth control and then you get pregnant bc of the pill all of the sudden doesn’t work for you. That’s bull crap and you’re trying to trap them. Trapping people won’t work and especially bc you’ve done it before. People aren’t stupid. I’m sorry, my birth control was out of date. No, it doesn’t get out of date. Stop trying to catch a man and show your children who’s the boss biatch. Be strong for kids, most importantly for your daughter if you have one. Men don’t make your life better, you do.