Married ten years to, by anyone’s judgement, a kind and decent man. Works hard, great dad, very responsible, attentive.
Downsides are that he is not social, has very few friends he rarely sees, he doesn’t have any hobbies other than the gym. He’s basically quite boring. Conversations are limited to a few topics.
I am very into arts, culture, friends, travel. I long for these.
He runs one business which is the main earner, then we also have work together on another business which earns the remaining 25% of our income, but we are now going to sell that business as it puts too much pressure on us as a couple.
We are looking to relocate to a more rural area so lots of change ahead. This will also get me away from my narcissistic mother which can’t come soon enough.
But I’m struggling to see how I get the life I want even once we’ve changed locations. I’m so sick of being married. I want to wake up in the morning and do what I want to do without the constant negotiation for childcare, work, household tasks, etc etc
I’m 42, so probably peri menopausal. I think these feelings have been coming on over several years though.
I crave autonomy. We’ve talked about it, and he says he wants to allow me to step up and be the breadwinner, allowing him to be more of a househusband, freeing me of domestic burden. I would prefer this, but while our children are young (5 and 8) we need the income his business brings and it will be very difficult for me to suddenly earn enough.
I feel trapped. I resent him, even though that’s probably not fair.
Once the biological need to have kids has passed, do lots of women feel this way?
I feel desperately sad about it and am struggling to get through the days. Waking up with a weight on my chest that doesn’t shift.