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Relationships

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Man I met up with had some issues in the bedroom (content warning for sex-related stuff)

40 replies

frumpychic · 13/02/2025 17:51

I recently started talking to a man on an app who I thought was attractive. He is early 30s and I am late 30s. We had been exchanging steamy texts in the run-up to actually meeting. We eventually met up in public and I felt a lot of chemistry right away. It progressed to the point where I felt comfortable inviting him to my home. I had signalled that I would be up for having sex and he was giving every indication that he wanted sex as well. When we made it inside, at the risk of sounding like a walking cliché, one thing quickly led to another. It started with me kissing him (which led to the tongues nearly halfway down each other's throats kind of kissing), me grabbing his bum, and asking him if he wanted to head to the bedroom to take things further. I was really turned on by him. I think it was a combination of not having had sex for a while and being quite revved up from the sexting.

When we made it to the bedroom and it got to the point where we were on the verge of having sex, a problem presented itself. He couldn't get a full erection so we couldn't actually have sex. It was only partially erect and definitely not hard enough for sex. It stayed that way for the duration of the time we were in the bedroom. He seemed flustered and embarrassed by the situation. We ended up doing other stuff. He used his hands and tongue to pleasure me until I had an orgasm. He didn't have one himself however. I'm now wondering what to do. He said he doesn't know why he couldn't get fully hard. I'm wondering if I should mention the idea of taking Viagra to him or would that just be too awkward? I thought the encounter was going really well until his aforementioned performance issue presented itself in the bedroom.

OP posts:
Climbinghigher · 13/02/2025 17:56

He was probably just anxious. Unless it's a common experience for him then I don't think there's any need to talk about Viagara. yet.

AlexandrinaH · 13/02/2025 17:56

Maybe he was nervous because he’d only just met you?

AlexandrinaH · 13/02/2025 17:57

Performance anxiety? Felt overwhelmed by the situation as it was moving incredibly quickly? Wasn’t sure if he would be enough for you as it sounds as though as you came across as sexually confident?

AlexandrinaH · 13/02/2025 17:59

Nothing wrong with any of the above by the way, just an observation based on what you’ve written. I wouldn’t suggest viagra; you barely know him and I’m sure he knows it’s available if he wants it.

Tittibits · 13/02/2025 17:59

I am not sure he would be surprised. He is young for ED but I think it is a much bigger problem than we think.

MyBigFatGreekSalad · 13/02/2025 18:06

Why have you added so many unnecessary details OP?🥴

If this actually did happen and you're not one of those weird people who gets off on writing sexual posts then he was probably just nervous.

namechangeGOT · 13/02/2025 18:09

The bloke just got a bit nervous is all. Lad did his best to get you off, so clearly not a selfish lover. It doesn't need mentioning at all at this stage.

Nanny1983 · 13/02/2025 18:10

I don’t think I would be wanting to entertain the idea of viagra so soon . It almost doesn’t feel worth it , move on if it keeps happening otherwise you might end up getting attached with an unfulfilled sex life .

Give him another chance and see if it was just a one off .

JudgeBread · 13/02/2025 18:10

Suggesting viagra after one instance of what is most likely performance anxiety would be a sure fire way to ensure he never wants to have sex with you again.

AlexandrinaH · 13/02/2025 18:14

MyBigFatGreekSalad · 13/02/2025 18:06

Why have you added so many unnecessary details OP?🥴

If this actually did happen and you're not one of those weird people who gets off on writing sexual posts then he was probably just nervous.

I have to say, this very thought crossed my mind!

flowrida · 13/02/2025 18:15

You barely know him so I don't think making suggestions like that would go down well. If you like him, maybe arrange another date and see what happens then.

As pp said I'm sure he's aware that Viagra is an option however it was possibly just a one off given that you're a new parter and things moved quickly.

Glorybox2025 · 13/02/2025 18:15

Men get performance anxiety too. First time sex is often nerve wracking for men just as it is for women. No need to jump to suggesting viagra. If you want to see him again go with the flow. In my experience this is why sexting before you've had sex is a really bad idea- it always sets up expectations which in reality most people find hard to meet on the first go. By all means sext someone you're sleeping with but avoid before you've done the deed.

GoldMoon · 13/02/2025 18:17

Too . Much . Information .

RubyRedBow · 13/02/2025 18:17

Sounds like you might have been a bit too full on for him.

RubyRedBow · 13/02/2025 18:19

AlexandrinaH · 13/02/2025 18:14

I have to say, this very thought crossed my mind!

I thought this too.

Motnight · 13/02/2025 18:22

Hmm

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 13/02/2025 18:26

A souped up Barbara Cartland 😁

OrlandointheWilderness · 13/02/2025 18:28

JudgeBread · 13/02/2025 18:10

Suggesting viagra after one instance of what is most likely performance anxiety would be a sure fire way to ensure he never wants to have sex with you again.

Absolutely this! Sounds like he was attentive and not selfish, in which case I'd ignore it ever happened and rock on! It might've been the speed of it or he was just nervous.

smithey855 · 13/02/2025 18:33

This reads like an adolescent teenagers attempt at writing an erotic novel.

cringy.

However, as others have said, men can get nervous having sex as well, maybe he wasn’t expecting. Things to move so quickly, maybe he was so worried about not being able to last, he couldn’t get hard.

so many reasons, and as long as you enjoyed each others company, just forget about it and maybe go a luttle slower. If it’s a reoccurring issue then maybe start to think about what you might want to do, but I’d really not worry about it right now.

BlueisBeautiful · 13/02/2025 18:38

Nerves probably. And throw possible alcohol into the mix to cope with the nerves.

AgathaX · 13/02/2025 18:51

You really needed to post this, did you?

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 13/02/2025 19:00

He used his hands and tongue to pleasure me until I had an orgasm

Wrote no woman ever

Endofyear · 13/02/2025 19:17

Maybe your 'enthusiasm' made him nervous and gave him performance anxiety? I wouldn't suggest viagra straight away, you don't know if this is an occasional problem or a more frequent problem. I'd suggest you slow things down a bit, get to know each other more and don't leap on the poor bloke like a rabid dog the minute he's inside the door! 🤣

niadainud · 13/02/2025 19:20

So you went to bed with a man after the first date and he couldn't get it up.

Didn't really require a novella.

But anyway, I'm sure he's well aware of the medication that's available for ED.

Mischance · 13/02/2025 19:25

You jumped on him and scared him to the point of shrivelling. Cruel woman!

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