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Original poster

Splitting valentines dinner..

49 replies

doctorlife · 12/02/2025 21:32

Hello!

I have been with BF for 3 months officially. We split everything 50/50, always.

He has already suggested we split valentines dinner ('we'll split that').

I feel a bit deflated.. AIBU?

OP posts:
coxesorangepippin · 12/02/2025 21:32

Bit of a passion killer

Chasingsquirrels · 12/02/2025 21:33

Were you going to offer to treat him?

roseymoira · 12/02/2025 21:34

This is an awkward set up long term I think, better to just take turns

SecondMrsTanqueray · 12/02/2025 21:35

New relationship. It’s fair to split.

Unless he said ‘I’d like to take you out for Valentine’s day’. In which case, it should be his treat.

changednameagain1234 · 12/02/2025 21:37

Oh come on! It’s Valentine’s Day!! He should be wooing you - especially after 3 months…

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 12/02/2025 21:39

I understand splitting ordinarily but I hate meanness like this. Fgs, he could treat you this time and you could return the compliment another time. Doesn't bode well for the future.

Screamingabdabz · 12/02/2025 21:40

I think men paying for women is patriarchal and anti-feminist (unless they’re massively better paid) but it would be nice if he said ‘look this is my treat for Valentine’s’ or even if you took turns. 50/50 with a calculator is not romantic and a bit of a stinginess red flag.

Faz469 · 12/02/2025 21:42

If you're splitting valentines day then I'd be refusing steak and blow job day 🤣

Prisonbreak · 12/02/2025 21:43

Then offer to pay the whole bill. Problem solved

GoneGirl12345 · 12/02/2025 21:44

I think you should say something like "look it's our first valentines together, splitting the bill is so unromantic. How about one of us pays and then the other pays for a meal for a treat in a few weeks?" and then see what he says. But honestly he sounds tight.

hattie43 · 12/02/2025 21:48

Very unromantic the first thing on his mind is confirming you're paying half .

Oldromance · 12/02/2025 21:52

I'd expect to split it, but I wouldn't expect there to be a conversation about it several days beforehand.

BlondiePortz · 12/02/2025 21:53

changednameagain1234 · 12/02/2025 21:37

Oh come on! It’s Valentine’s Day!! He should be wooing you - especially after 3 months…

Why? Because he is man?

astl · 12/02/2025 21:55

hattie43 · 12/02/2025 21:48

Very unromantic the first thing on his mind is confirming you're paying half .

Exactly.

I'm all for 50/50 and always offer to pay half when the bill comes.
It's the fact that even when planning a nice romantic meal out, one of the key things that crosses his mind is splitting the bill.
And also the fact he needs to clarify in advance.

If I was on a date with someone I'd been seeing for 3 months and we commonly split bills, I'd wonder why he felt the need to say it in advance. It's just mean and tight.

If I was on a date after a few months and the bill came, I'd offer to split and be happy to do so. If it was brought up in advance as if it was a big deal it would be a massive turn off to plan it in advance....I'd be telling him where to stick it

AnonAnonmystery · 12/02/2025 22:00

We always take turns paying but Valentines has always been Dps thing -he will book, organise and pay. This would seriously give me the ick tbh, it’s nice to treat each other in a relationship. I am a feminist but I’m also a romantic as well.

WhatDidIComeInThisRoomFor · 12/02/2025 22:04

OP posted a much longer version of this only 2 days ago. Got 129 replies about how the bf sounds stingy and didn’t return to the thread after the opening post. Not sure what more you hope to get from this new thread @doctorlife ?

Justcallmebebes · 12/02/2025 22:08

I'm as for equality as the next person but no, it's valentines day and I wouldn't be going 50/50. After 3 months I'd be binning him. It's just such a lack of effort and appreciation of you

DorothyStorm · 12/02/2025 22:10

I dont have an issue with paying 50/50 for the meal but id be looking at how thoughtful his gift was.

HoppityBun · 12/02/2025 22:11

Of course you should not split the bill. You pay for both

Dogsintheyard · 12/02/2025 22:12

@doctorlife this is the third thread you have started about your boyfriend. You get lots of advice and never come back.
what would you like to happen in this relationship? You seem very nervous about everything and it might help if you took a step back, perhaps a break, until you are ready to date. This one seems to be waving some reddish flags at you, which you are ignoring. The phrase ‘he’s just not that into you’ springs to mind.

TwistedWonder · 12/02/2025 22:57

OP - what advice do you actually want because you’ll get the same comments as your thread a few days ago which you didn’t respond to

Reading your previous threads about this loser, Valentine’s Day dinner is the least of your issues.

He doesn’t respect you - dump him and his calculator

smallsilvercloud · 12/02/2025 23:07

Jump at the chance and split it, no wait, just pay for it all!, Is that better? you clearly don't believe the comments of 100's of others on the other thread of what they think, totally pointless thread!

K8ate · 14/02/2025 15:43

I agree - you should just pay it.

DoItBetter · 14/02/2025 15:45

I think 50/50 is ok. It wouldn't bother me at all. I love doing 50/50.
Expecting the man to pay is lame and old fashioned.
Taking turns is ok too though.

DoItBetter · 14/02/2025 16:49

The guy isn't being mean - he is going to pay for his half. It's the OP who is being mean by expecting him to pay for her.