Dad doesn’t like my bf

[LadyInPink67]

26 here. Been with my bf for 5 years now. Good (peaceful) relationship.

I come from a high achieving family. Dad worked on Wall Street, high pay. My sisters and brothers are all lawyers and engineers. Not going to disclose my job here but I’m also a young professional working in healthcare. Decent pay in my age group. Own about half of my home (mortgage). Everyone in my family is on medium to high income.

My bf and his family- not as high achieving and low to middle income. I love being high achieving, I have very ambitions goals and sometimes I do find talking to them (his family) a bit awkward. However I love my bf to bits and I don’t care about it. I like that he isn’t as high achieving as me bc he’s very supportive and chill! Yin and Yang kind of thing and opposites attract.

however, it’s been ongoing that my dad is not a big fan of him. My dad is very strict and is now no longer tolerant to my relationship. He said to me I’m “f’ing dumb” and a “loser”. He wants me to break up with him.

He wants me to have a partner with similar background or career.

I don’t need anyone to be mean on here because I have already gotten so much grief from weekly moaning/ lecturing me from my dad.

how do I navigate this? I feel like I have to pick and I don’t wanna. If one day I have to pick, I will pick my bf, but in an ideal world, I don’t wanna pick.

be kind, I have been depressed about this in the past but now gotten past it and in a good place but I feel like it is going into a direction that requires a lot of mental energy and stress…

I'm sorry to say it but your dad is plain rude. He doesn't sound terribly clever (certainly not emotionally mature) and he doesn't come across as a loving, supportive dad.

Especially when you consider that he judges people by what they earn / how professionally ambitious they are.

High earner / ambitious does not make you a better person. If you value decency, then your bf sounds a much better person than your dad.

I think some of your dad's opinions might have rubbed off on you a litter bit, as you focus a lot on what people earn / what job they have. Most people in life don't care about such things. They don't make someone a good partner, good parent or good friend. They just make them richer.

There's nothing wrong with being a high earner or being ambitious, but they aren't the measure of people, and I'd rather be with a decent low earner than an arrogant and rude high earner.

You can't make your dad like your bf. He sounds incapable of judging people by anything other than their job and their money, which makes him incredibly shallow and a very bad judge of people. Don't listen to him. Don't give up a good relationship because of him.

I admit I thought this. But calling you dumb and a loser is not OK at all. That's demeaning.

Fair points after having read that update.

My bf and his family- not as high achieving and low to middle income. I love being high achieving, I have very ambitions goals and sometimes I do find talking to them (his family) a bit awkward.

And this isn't great, do you think you're better than them, OP?