Heart broken

[myothercarisaskoda]

Please help me through this. I miss him so much but there's no going back, how do I get over it?

Time is a healer. What’s happened..?

Have a day of crying, smashing plates, cutting up his photos, whatever is your style.

Then get up tomorrow and get on with the next stage of your life. Anyone who doesn't want you is not worth another moment of your time.

I got rid of his photos. I woke up feeling better this morning and now I feel terrible again.
I know I'm worth more but this hurts like hell.

Try to remember today will feel awful and tomorrow and possibly into the next few weeks but one day you'll realise you haven't thought of him for an hour, then a few hours. Before you realise you've gone a whole day. It does get easier. You just can't see it now x

Struggling too. 2 weeks since I caught my husband cheating. The pain is something else isn't it

Thank you for the replies.

@superplumb I'm sorry to here that. It's awful, really didn't expect it to come to this. Full of promises and commitment and then he just takes it away.
Last time I felt like this was 10 years ago but this is horrendous.

2 weeks for me since he dumped me as he 'couldn't be the source of all my anxiety' after triangulating me with his female 'best friend' who I was never allowed to meet.

It's a special kind of pain, big hugs to you both. Just take it a day at a time. Catch yourself in the moment and just slow your breathing. It's hard to picture it but you WILL get through this and happy days (and hearts) WILL return. Crying will make you dehydrated so drink water and hot sweet coffee if you're struggling to eat x

You will have ups and downs. I suppose I'm fortunate that I'm having to deal with what he's done as opposed to any feelings for him. I have none and can't wait until I don't have to have any communication with him which hopefully will be less than a month's time.

I wonder if some of your feelings are more about the fear for the future than wanting him back.

I never thought I'd manage without him. I never thought I could actually divorce him. I worried about the kids.

Turns out I am doing better than him. I did divorce him with an excellent settlement which he's pissed off about and while he's let the kids down massively, they are doing really well because they have all they need. Me. A parent who loves them, shows up for them and puts them first.

You can get through this. It's a moment in time and it won't be forever. I wish I'd posted when things happened for me but I'm here for you now and so is everyone else on here.

I’m sorry OP. It’s shit isn’t it? I
cried in Asda today and did fuck all of any use in my day job! Hope you’re managing a bit better than that.

My plan is to take a new exercise class in the evenings. Join a local meet up. Start planning weekends away with friends. Haven’t done any of it yet.

Have you made any plans to fill in your time yet?
💐

it will bloody hurt but try the following and lots of love to you
think of all the bad things about him all the grubby habits etc
do something just for you a spa day or just spend time at home nice bubble bath glass of wine lots of lovely body lotion etc
go for a good long walk somewhere quiet stomp over the ground muttering curses to yourself

Thank you all for the replies. I've appreciated every one of them, it's difficult to reply to each one as I don't feel I have the capacity at the moment.
I'm not fearing the future, I just wanted to be with him. I do feel like I want to get over him and try again when I'm ready but I know this can't be rushed.
I've started meeting new friends online and I've seen family and planning to see friends at the weekend. I'm finding doing stuff hard though, doesn't really distract me.
Thank you everyone ❤️

Hi all, thought I'd come back to this. Having a awful time.
Sorry to hear others are suffering too. @Catoo how long ago did it happen for you?
This is the worst heartache ever for me and like you, I'm finding that I'm breaking into tears all over the place.

Me too. Cried at the school just because I saw dad's woth their kids. Made me realised how my stbxh is a complete waste of time.

@superplumb I'm so sorry you caught your other half cheating, that's awful. What a complete let down he is.
Nothing seems to be helping at the moment, apart from reading an old thread on here from 2022 about a poster whose boyfriend wasn't over his ex. That made me 1% better. I really don't know what to do with myself.

Get onto reddit and the chump lady page. It's for people who've been cheated on. Lots of advice from people who've been there

I’m so sorry you’re feeling so heartbroken OP. I hate that feeling when the tears suddenly come. When you are suddenly overwhelmed with them being gone. But it does gradually pass.

It’s quite complicated for me but finally it ended last weekend. But he’s made me cry so many times calling it off and then back on again.

I have actually been OK the last two days. Only little cries and not in public since Asda early in the week. But I’ve been in a real state over him before.

There isn’t too much I can say to make it feel better. Except in time it will feel slightly less shit and so on. It does help me to go and spend time with good friends who will laugh with me about it all. And to get out and exercise. And I weirdly am looking forward to finding a new hobby as I used to spend every evening with him more or less.

It’s early days. Have you got plans to get out for part of the weekend?
💐

@Catoo thank you 💐
It's good that you've been a little better and you're doing things. Was it you that finished it this time? Has he been in touch?
I'm supposed to be seeing a friend but it's a little drive away and unsure if I'm feeling up to it.

Sending you hugs - all of OP who have been cheated on or recently come out of a relationship.

Spend time doing things that you enjoy & make the most of your friends who will be more than happy to support you through this difficult time.

Perhaps get your hair/nails etc done so that you look & feel glamorous.

Take this from a mature lady of 61 who's been around the block a few times: you will get over this. One day you will look back & thank God that your bad relationships ended & wonder what you ever saw in the men who didn't deserve your time and tears. 😘

can I join too. It's up and down (I'm 2 weeks in). I've been through this before with the same guy. Got to get past a month as this was when we decided to get back together last time. Its the right decision but gosh its hard.

Kind of both. I tried to call it in October but he was so persistent it could work. Then he’s decided it can’t. Again.

No he hasn’t been in touch and I don’t want him to as we’ll end up back at square one. I asked him to let me go properly this time. I won’t contact him either.

How has today been for you? Any cries? Definitely go and see your friend. Treat yourselves to your favourite food and have a few laughs.

💐🌺🌷

@Catoo Similar to me
I ended it before Xmas and then we somehow ended up back to 'normal' as if nothing had happened before he decided that he 'couldn't be the source of my anxiety' a month later, instead of just introducing me to his female 'friend' like I'd been asking for 7 months . Total waste of 19 months when I saw these red flags so early on . More fool me
Now I also get the added insult that he dumped me

Sorry to hear you’re also in this horrible newly dumped space! It really is galling when you’ve tried to end it and they somehow persuade you to go back there!

Ugh is he now with this ‘friend’?

I would reframe that it was only 19 months, could be worse, and you probably learned some lessons?

I’m looking forward to the day when I don’t really care.

🌷🥀🪻

@Catoo
Honestly I don't know what was going on with them
He reckons they had been friends 20 years but they lived in each others pockets
After I got pissed off with him cancelling plans with me a few times he started seeing her on the sly and muting their messages
It's been an absolute headfuck
If they wanted to be together they could have done when both single
I actually don't think there was anything going on (I hope) but it was too weird .