What would you do?

[MaeDaymon]

Been together for about 30 years since teens. We still have a young family.

He's a good Dad.

History: No big issues. Odd examples of immature behaviour. Lost a lot of money through gambling. Secretive. Not a great conversationalist. Never makes an effort.

I have had several life events happen to me in the last 2 years so perhaps not been as attentive as years before.

This week: Walked in on him watching p* you can imagine the rest. He made light of it.

I am so upset especially as the person he was watching was the polar opposite to me.

No apology. No 'I love you'. Offered to move out or me to move out with the kids while I thought it through!

We are barely speaking.

We're supposed to be going on holiday at half-term. Kids are excited.

Any advice?
Would you go on holiday?

Why?

How do porn consumers know that the girls that look like school girls are in fact over 18 ?

This is a long read but worth it - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GirlsDoPorn

Did you put him in high regard to people so they didn't know the truth? That's the think about dc thinking df is fantastic.. Adult hood comes and the rose tinted specs fall and you see your real childhood....
A poor dm trying to blag a happy home.

And a cunt for a df...

Hey OP ..
I’ve read all the advice from everyone & if it was me in your shoes , I would read very carefully what GarynotsoGorrila has to say in his 2 posts , as I think he has given really good advice and I would really take on board what he says …
.
Best of luck to you x

No big issues. Odd examples of immature behaviour. Lost a lot of money through gambling. Secretive. Not a great conversationalist. Never makes an effort
these are your problems not a secret wank.
Why do women list this shitty behaviour followed by he's a great dad?
No idea why you've stayed married to him he sounds like an utter cunt.

'No idea why you've stayed married to him'

As the op says she has become dependent on him. Many women sadly do, giving up careers to have kids. Instead of telling her off try to show some empathy.

If you stay op I'd try to get back out the ladder career wise so you have options going forward. Try not to be scared of going it alone though, if you read threads on here many women think it is an impossible situation but manage to work things out as a single parent. Good luck .

He gave the option that he leaves, take him up on it, at least until half term holidays are done. Go on holiday with your kids and enjoy it.

Then come back and think about what you want your future to be, and take steps to make it happen.

Despite what some here want to say, none of it is your fault. If you've had other priorities, your husband turning to porn because he wasn't the centre of attention is not your fault. A good husband and father would be shouldering the burden with you and making you his centre of attention.

I’ve read all the advice from everyone & if it was me in your shoes , I would read very carefully what GarynotsoGorrila has to say in his 2 posts , as I think he has given really good advice and I would really take on board what he says …

Several others have given much better advice.
Others haven't blamed her own insecurities and menopause.
Claiming she should look at her own behaviour and excusing his.
Kicking her when she's down, is not the answer.

I don’t think he was kicking OP when she was down 🤷🏻‍♀️??
I think he was very honest with her & was just saying, normally when things aren’t going great in a relationship, it’s a 2 way street ..
Reread what he said PP , he advised that the 2 of them should sit down , talk rationally & try & work things out …
As I said , if it were me in her shoes , it is his posts that would I would heed the most , that’s just me though 🤷🏻‍♀️, what I think, every one here offers in what they think ….