After a long term break up did you ever imagine you were a virgin again?

[Pulsechange]

I’ve been through a (very) long term relationship break up (and the birth of a child) and if I’m honest the sex was never good. I’m surprised I stayed so long but I guess I’m more loyal than I thought. Anyway. We’re done and I’ve gone through a whole load of psychological changes. One thing that I feel now is that I want the next time I have a sexual encounter to be really special. Like I am losing my virginity again. Even though when I lost my virginity the first time I was 15 and it was casual and underwhelming. This time I want it to be romantic, special, with rose petals and candles. I’ll provide these for the right lover, I’m not expecting them to just fall from the sky…

Anyone else feel like this?

I think mines grown back after a 5 year dry spell if that helps.

Oh I hear you 🤣

Yep, this. ^ Pretending you're a virgin again .. WTF? Who DOES that? 😂

Absolutely not.

Wank bank grifter.

All I can think of that's relevant was the FACT that my 2nd partner (he wasn't around long enough to be called a boyfriend) was so small and feeble (sorry ladies but he was) that I felt as if I hadn't had s€x with him. I always see my 3rd conquest as being my 2nd, if that makes sense.

Christ on a bike, what a bloody awful idea. No, I don’t imagine regrowing a hymen. How richly bizarre.

Virginity isn’t a state to aspire to return to. It wasn’t magical or pure or special. It was just “not yet had sex.”

And let’s be honest, most first time sex is rubbish; no one knows what they’re doing.

OP, sex was wonderful and exciting in the past because you were young and full of hormones.

Youth was a mighty aphrodisiac.

OK. After each of my marriages, my first 'overwrite' was a deliberately chosen casual encounter. Both were quite romantic in terms of setting and the kind of conversation you have when you're pretty sure you're going to end up in bed but don't want to jinx it.

Neither was remotely like being sexually inexperienced, thank god.

There are cultures that value virginity and ascribe a virgin woman or girl as being more valuable and pure than one who isn't.
They are also the same cultures that don't actually give a fuck about women in general and see them only as vessels to service men, sexually and as domestic labour.
So funnily enough, in answer to your question, no.

But there’s nothing interesting or appealing about virginity. It’s literally just a term describing a person who has not done something. I can assure you that I’m not missing out in failing to pretend sexual ignorance.

Supposing Mr/Ms Rose Petals is also pretending to be a virgin after a lot of mind-numbingly bad sex? Less appealing if it’s the kind of teenage lunging and grappling that results from everyone involved having no clue?

I didn't lose my virginity til i was 33, and with the love of my life, almost 3 years into the relationship. He was not a virgin.
I was more than ready, in a solid, loving partner ship and fancied him like crazy.
It was the worst experience we've had between us sexually, as is to be expected. The first time with a new partner is usually the worst with them as you don't know eachothers bodies yet or how you "fit", what eachothers likes are, plus if its been a while for one or both you lose the swing of it.

Fantasising about it being some big, over the top romantic event with candles and rosepetals etc, you are really setting yourself up for disappointment when it still ends with awkwardness of 2 people who haven't had sex together before, trying to figure it out. The sex only gets better when you're with the right lover, but it never starts out amazing from round 1.

not really the same but i haven't had sex in 8 years so i kind of feel like a virgin again 😂 but for different reasons.

Hilarious! There's nothing great or romantic about being a virgin. Much better to be experienced, to know your body and what you enjoy and to be confident in seeking and giving pleasure. I don't think sex is very romantic but it can be passionate.