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Relationships

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Original poster

Therapist wants to discuss sex

53 replies

Growingyou · 28/01/2025 20:35

Just looking for perspectives really…

My DH and I are not in a great place emotionally. Long story short - very young children, major health issues, financial challenges.

I started getting some counselling recently and the therapist has been helpful in helping me delve into my thoughts and feelings. However, the therapist surprised me at the last session saying he wants to discuss sex.

I mean maybe it’s relevant because we’re discussing my marriage a lot… but it also just doesn’t feel relevant or part of the problem.

Am I just not analytical enough? Are there answers lying in my sex life? It doesn’t feel that way, neither my partner or I feel like there are any issues with our sex. Is it strange to feel a bit anxious about attending a session where the therapist is going to raise this?

OP posts:

ASqueezeOfLemon · 09/04/2025 21:37

Growingyou · 28/01/2025 21:00

He’s a psychodynamic therapist, he seems well qualified. I feel disappointed because he has been more challenging/less hand holding than introductory sessions I had when I was trying to find someone. But when he said “I hope you don’t find it creepy that I want to discuss more how your sex life is”…. I suddenly did feel a bit uncomfortable. But now I’m second guessing whether that’s just because I’m unused to therapy / speaking in depth about sex is foreign to me or whether it’s a red flag.

Sex is always a legitimate enquiry in psychodynamic therapy. Male therapists are probably on the ropes with it though, so they fumbled?
The less like you a therapist is, the more they're going to try to understand you and not assume their exercise is like yours. True of gender as much as race.
Aware this is an old thread, but I hhoped worthleaving this for the search.

MaryGreenhill · 10/04/2025 09:07

Old thread

StartAnew · 10/04/2025 09:11

Raising sex as a subject is very normal, it is relevant to other things going on in a relationship. Saying it might be creepy is odd , unless you have used the word in relation to men or sex?

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