Please help me not go back to cheating ex

[Anon12344]

First time posting. Have seen so much support on here and could really do with some to help me get through this.

Background is I’ve been with DF for 6 years and have DS4 and DS2 together. Caught him cheating early on before children, then once again in 2023. Forgave him and found out today he met someone on a night out a few weeks ago, got her number and messaged her for the next few days flirting. He sent these messages while in the house with me and the kids and whilst sober.

He said it doesn’t mean anything, he was stupid and loves me. I’ve told him it’s over but I know I’m going to struggle to not take him back. I really want to stay strong and be a good example to my kids. Any support is very welcome.

thank you.

I’m cheering for you op. You will do this!!
Unfortunately for him, the timing of this is good for you. Current house sold. No onward purchase. Somewhere in you op, you have anger about how he has behaved. Tap into it now and use it to your advantage. Protect your and your dcs future at all costs, because this man has shown that he simply won’t. He won’t expect you to fight, so rise like the bloody warrior you are and do what’s best for you. At some point in the not too distant future, you will look back and wonder what on earth you ever saw in him. Hold your line op, you have this nailed xx

You've got this @Anon12344. This is your golden opportunity to break free. I know that it doesn't feel golden right now, but it will.

I believe in second chances. Not third, fourth, fifth etc. if I ever had even a whiff of a repeat offence, the door is that way and don't be too slow getting through it.

OP, your partner won’t change. And awful as it is, I don’t think you can be certain it was only three times - those are only the times you caught him.

He said “it doesn’t mean anything” - but it does mean something. It means he doesn’t respect you or love you enough not to do something he knows will cause you pain. It means that to him, having some random shag is worth risking breaking your heart. Find your anger, OP. He’s an arsehole.

Yes, leave him and stay away for the sake of your children not growing up in an unhealthy dynamic, but also leave him for your own sake. There is NO WAY you deserve to be treated like this. No one does.

Best of luck.

I haven't read any of the comments but I will reply to your post.
Imagine your best friend telling you that her partner has cheated again... what would you tell her!? To leave him!! Treat yourself as though you're your own best friend, please OP.
I know it's hard but people like this don't change and the more you forgive, the more confident they get that you won't leave if they do it again.

Well done 👏 🥰

Thanks everyone. I’m feeling a lot more positive today. Just need to get through the weekend moving everything out and then I’m looking at it like a fresh start.

Well done, feel proud. Onwards and upwards from now on.