What you dump over this?

[Revitalise42]

Boyfriend of 3ish months was away for the weekend “with the lads”. After he came home he was telling me all about it and how they were playing a drinking game and his question was to name the best, worst and craziest ‘shag’ of his life and why they were so. He was delighted to say of course he named me as the best. I was absolutely affronted, we are in our late 30s, we aren’t teenagers. I asked him who he named for the other 2 and he told me. I felt it was so distasteful and disrespectful to firstly talk about any woman in that way but also to talk in the way he was while in a relationship? He thinks I’m overreacting and said it was all just a laugh

I mean, if you dont want an answer dont ask

So long as I wasn't the worst, it wouldn't bother me at all.

Ick.

Some guys are easily led. I'm not into guys that are easily led so it depends what you are willing to put up with. I personally can't stand the whole lad culture so it would be a big red flag for me.

Yes I would dump.

That's beyond grim for grown men at their ages to be discussing.

No I agree. Definitely doesn’t need to bring it with you. Don’t understand why he did tbh 😅

You don’t need to break up with him over it if everything else is good. Maybe just tell him to leave the lads chat with the lads and you don’t need to know about his other sexual encounters unless you ask him.
My partner shared stuff with me before and after I just thought, why the hell have you told me that ? It’s strange behaviour.

I don't think I could find him attractive - a grown man playing drinking games, talking about sex and rating women on their performance? Worse - he's happy to talk to his friends about his current gf in such terms. And then tells you what he's said.

I'd never want to see any of his friends again, but I wouldn't want to see him again, because I'd have serious concerns about his maturity, common sense and respect for me and for women generally.

You've only been with him for 3 months. Easy to extracate and he's showing you who he is.

I don’t like it but if I’m totally honest I might’ve spoken like this with the girls in the past.

Oh blimey what a repulsive bunch of drunken misogynistic yobs.
At least now you know what type of guy he is.
That would be the end of things for me.

Why would he even tell you about such a crass, offensive "game"? You are not one of his "lads" (grown men acting like teenagers), you are his girlfriend who deserves more respect - as do the other women he publicly named and shamed.

I talk about stuff like that with my friends, we have a laugh about it. However, I'd never tell OH about it. What would be the point? The fact that he thought worthy to share is an issue.

Do you really get drunk and have a laugh with your friends about how good or otherwise your DH is in bed compared to other guys?
Even if you don't tell him don't you feel it's really disrespectful to him and your relationship?

As a few others have commented, all those saying it's disrespectful, etc, how many of you have mentioned your sex life, performance, disappointment, etc, with your partners?

At least he was honest enough to tell you directly what he said.

Late 30s and he acts like a teenager, or a contestant on Love Island (don't they play moronic games like that?)

How sad that he thought you'd be impressed by him labelling you the best in this twattish game. He doesn't sound mature enough for a grown up relationship.

he was telling me all about it and how they were playing a drinking game and his question was to name the best, worst and craziest ‘shag’ of his life and why they were so.

This.

If he labelled you as the best he obviously justified it with a description.

And the others. Yuck

You should be flattered he told you the truth about the conversation.
But he’s also socially incompetent to tell you the truth about the conversation 🤣

His mistake was telling you...

He is hardly going to say it even if she was!

“yeah and you came bottom of that poll. My ex was dynamite in bed”

...am I the only one that would take the compliment?! It was silly guy char, I'm sure they happen on hen dos too. I understand not wanting to hear about the exs but this isn't a dumpable offence, be happy you're having great sex! (Assuming you rate him highly too)

Is your issue that he talked about it in the game or told you? If it’s the former then effectively you’re saying neither of you can talk to your friends about your relationship. If it’s the latter just say you didn’t need to hear about it and move on.

there’s a massive difference between talking to your friends about your relationship and playing a drinking game basically ranking the women you’ve slept well. I’m definitely not saying neither of us can talk to our friends about our relationship 🙄🙄🙄

Exactly this. What a Twat !!

Yes I would end the relationship. That’s ridiculous for a man in his late 30s. He sounds immature and a bit stupid. Don’t waste any more time on him. Keep your standards high.

Why didn't he keep his gob shut?

I think I wouldn't have held that level of bawdy conversation against him in that setting , I just didn't need to about hear it. Not so early into dating. Unless he said he went into details about your sex life or the others for that matter.

How are things overall? Does he feel like someone on the same wavelength as you who got stuck into a trashy game and reported back, or is this his level and he thought it was hilarious?

I don't know that it would be automatically grounds for dumping in isolation even though it is off-putting. How does everything weigh up?