Just had an argument ….

[Secondtimemum24]

Basically just had an argument with my boyfriend- I have 2 children one is 19 and had a boyfriend of 3 months met him 3 times….
me and my partner have a 10 month old.

we have an agreement that my daughter boyfriend doesn’t sleep over she sleeps at his when they spend the night together I haven’t another daughter who just said it’s weird him staying here so we all agreed he doesn’t.
we’ve met him 3 times seems nice enough / daughter (19) is a bit besotted but it’s her age lol.

shes just asked if she can Cook for them on the weekend here and then they’re going out my boyfriend just got funny and said why has he gotta come here why can’t she do that at his…. We have a front room/ dining room. So they’d be sat eating when we’re in the front room with the baby I guess….

I then said ok it might be awkward but let’s see he’s gonna be in our lives by the looks of it …. He then said he’s not gonna be in my baby’s life!! I explained if they stay together he will be because he will be around more and she’s her sister … he said no way he won’t be holding her etc …. I said you can’t say that it’s just life people come in and go and we’re grow relationships with them people / he said he will absolutely not have a relationship with my baby end of .. she can move out if she wants to be an adult and have a bf … am I being unreasonable that’s out of order no?

So your BF is trying to imply that an unrelated adult male cannot be around his DD as he may be a potential risk.

He said this while being an unrelated adult male that has had access to your DD?

I would be thinking that he's projecting loud and clear what unrelated adult males think of girls they have access to. Get rid, he's an arse.

How many more threads are you going to start about this abusive controlling cocklodging cunt before you see the million red flags he’s waving in your face and kick his freeloading POS arse to the kerb?

Every day you stay with this prick, you’re putting him as priority over you kids while he treats you like shit on his shoe.

You’ve said previously it’s your home and he doesn’t contribute - how fucking date he tell you who can come and go there.

Get him out and share parenting of your baby - if in fact the freeloading fucker actually contributes.

Your boyfriend is batshit

I thought you were breaking up with this loser the last time you posted about him?
He's abusive/controlling towards you. He's a selfish, lazy cocklodger. He now sounds abusive/controlling towards your daughter. And he isn't going to change. You need to be thinking about how to protect your children from this horrible man.

Your boyfriend is trying to engineer a situation with you and your dd so she leaves. Be very careful of him, he's trying to push her out and replace her with your joint child. It's the reverse cuckoo affect except it's the step parent pushing out the original child & replacing with his own.

How old were you when you had your dd1 as there's a massive age gap between the two girls.

he's either trying to push your daughter out or (I’m just going to say it) he doesn’t want to see her with her boyfriend. Sorry I’m not saying that’s true but you need to seriously consider if he’s jealous. I’m only saying this because you need to make sure you’ve ruled that out.

I’ve been a fool and tried to just move on I’m worried about coparenting it’s going ti be a nightmare - he wants 50/50 if we break up.
im stupid I know it and now I’m showing my girls that this is an acceptable relationship i just feel stuck.
I know I’ll be happier alone.
just feel like a twat staying and hes just being a dickhead again …..
thank you for all your advice.
I don’t think he’s jealous of her bf she’s just controlling the situation and I’ve told him it’s a joke !

Bloody hellfire. Just looked at your other threads, OP.

GET THIS MAN OUT OF YOUR HOUSE.

Please. For the sake of all of your children and yourself.

You need to get away from him. I know you have a million more problems than this right now but don’t dismiss your daughter as being besotted because she’s young and daft etc - you all need each other so much right now, please try not to lose her for this man. And I get how stuck you feel. And I cannot imagine the thought of having to hand over my child to a man like this for 50% of her childhood life - if someone comes along with advice on this, take it. Please. Because you’ll end up losing everyone around you including yourself. Your last post really upset me because I can hear how much you’re struggling and how trapped you’re feeling, I’m so sorry. The thing is, you can get out of this.

Thank you 🥺

He says he wants 50/50. But realistically, he's a lazy prick who is trying to stop you breaking up with him.

When it comes down to it, you don't have to give him 50/50, you can resist it, and he probably won't want the reality of it.

what everyone else says

Tell him it’s your house and your rules and if he doesn’t like them he can leave.

He won’t want 50:50. And even if he does, it’s better your child has 50% of the time in a happy healthy household than 100% of the time watching this cocklodging arsehole abuse you all.

The actual fucking cheek of him thinking he’s top dog in your house.

I agree with PP, he’s got some issue with DD having a bf. He’s told on himself with his comments about the bf not being near your baby.

I hope you put him out.

@Secondtimemum24
he is threatening you by saying he wants 50/50… how will he b able to work and look after a baby if he actually did get joint custody… most men are all mouth… they say they can look after a child but in reality he probably couldn’t look after himself… kick him out and look forward to the future with your beautiful children

He can tell you he'd have 50/50 all he wants, he'd have to go to court to get that and no judge is giving him 50/50 when he won't have a stable home with a room for your child (not sharing with him). He's been freeloading for 5 years, he'll be lucky if he rents a bedsit.

Does he do any parenting at all?

And another baby born to a dysfunctional family with one parent threatening to use him/her as a weapon against the other. When will we stop 🤦🏾‍♀️.

Is this the first time your boyfriend has been controlling @Secondtimemum24?
Or is this typical for him?
It’d be easier to comment if we had a clearer picture of how your boyfriend behaves.
Based on this one incident, he sounds unpleasant.

This is the latest of numerous threads the OP has started about his wanky, controlling, abusive cocklodging behaviour so it’s an ongoing situation not a one off.

I haven't got time for those people who always say let's then go to the other house. It's just selfish.

why?
beyond it is pretty intrusive if he has wn place fr them t nt at least suggest cook for you all...does your fella know\know of her bf?

Thanks. I wasn‘t aware of that.
People just don’t make any sense, but you’d at least they’d occasionally listen to it.

same-unaware of past posts.... so how d i see these?

Did your boyfriend move into your house? If so, he doesn't get to dictate when your daughters can have their friend/boyfriend visit. I highly doubt he would actually be bothered with 50/50 care for the baby if you split - he'll be too busy finding some other poor woman to move in with and mooch off. Get rid of him OP and show your daughters that it's not ok to put up with a controlling man.

I just want to thank you all for your advise !
I know I’ve posted before about him and I know what I have to do I now feel awful that I’ve put my kids through this but I guess I have my baby out of it and love to pieces so I know what I have to do they all deserve a happy mummy

It is my house yes