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Original poster

SIL and BIL don’t like us but want us to look after their children

54 replies

Ellbelle · 14/01/2025 19:29

Sister in law and brother in law have made it very clear for the past 2 years that they don’t like us. We live quite a different life and it seems to annoy them to the point they now can’t even be around us. We have done nothing but try to be friendly, invite them places and just had no luck, so now understandably given up. I’ve had rumours made up about me, lies after lies, no effort to come to any party invites etc. we always make an effort to go all out for our nephews presents and never received a thank you.

however recently as she has gone back to work and my MIL comes over weekly she has been asking her to bring her children to my house for the day. They are children and our nephews and we love them dearly however I am finding it hard to understand why they want their children here when they don’t like us and two just the politeness of a text to ask if it’s okay and not just all through my MIL. for the past few months I have just said of course, but I’m conflicted on whether I should text and address this or just look at it as a plus that my son gets to spend the day with his cousins..

OP posts:

Pumpkinpie1 · 19/01/2025 20:30

Talk to MIL before you make assumptions. She may be trying to build bridges x

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 19/01/2025 20:34

Is MiL coming to you once a week to look after yours and now turning up with SILs kids? If so, that can be week on week off at SILs the CF.

or does she have a day a week she sets aside to visit you at home with your children (so they are preschool) and is now rocking up with 2 extra because she’s offered childcare to them? Making your house play dough and childcare central. in that case I’d be meeting off site or inviting yourself to SILs place to see MIL there so the inconvenience of the mess that 4 preschoolers can make is reciprocated. All those lovely rice cake crumbs and stick fingers. That would grate her carrot 😂.

stop making an effort with her. Life is too short to run after people who think they are too good for you.

Ilikeadrink14 · 26/03/2025 13:42

LookItsMeAgain · 14/01/2025 21:11

The first response nails it but @cookingthebooks has a very valid point. MiL is the one in charge of the kids when she is coming with them to your place.

I'd make it clear to MiL that while you have no issues with her, and the kids are lovely, they are by extension being looked after by you when their parents aren't even being polite to you. You feel that she is, by stealth, getting you to look after these kids and you're not going to do that any more, so you're sorry, but if she feels she can't look after the kids without your help, she's going to have to tell Sil & BiL that she can't look after them any more.

Show quote history

It did cross my mind that maybe the Mil doesn’t know how to entertain the children, or can’t be bothered, and that’s why she takes them to the Sil.
That said, Sil needs to know. They are her kids and if she doesn’t want them to be with her in-laws, so be it. You have to respect that.

UtterlyOtterly · 26/03/2025 13:49

Why are you even in when MIL arrives?
Go out for the day, changing the locks if necessary.

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