Who on here does or did Claire's Law check as standard? (Even when no concerns)

[Nicole875]

Just that really..
After reading a post on her recently about someone being contacted by police about a CL check, I've been curious about how many people actually request a CL check as standard as part of the "vetting" process when getting with a new partner or thinking of introducing new partner to children or inviting into your home?

Personally, I would consider it as something that should be done regardless. No matter what. I fled an abusive marriage years ago and waited a long time before meeting my now partner.... From the beginning he was lovely and I didn't even for one second imagine that he'd have any form for DV or abusive of ANY kind... However, I STILL did the CL check, simply because I had a young child to think about AND because I didn't want to take any sort of risk.

I'm really shocked that MORE women don't do the CL check as standard. It should be like a formality in my opinion.

Someone seems great at interview and meets all the criteria of the job spec, but any decent organisation would STILL check references. Why wouldn't they?

Thoughts welcome x

I wish more people knew about CL. Aspects of the process frustrate me. There are a lot of misconceptions about CL. Like the person will be told ect.( I found out about it too late) It saved my life. I encourage everyone to do one, especially where there are child involved.

I've been reading the same threads.

Just wanted to put this out there for people who don't know about the beautiful Clare. I don't know her, but the story is certainly worth reading.

clares-law.com/why-is-it-called-clares-law/

While CL is helpful I worry it gives people a false sense of security. Just because someone doesn’t have it on their record it doesn’t mean they aren’t capable.

@BlondeMamaToBe you're right. Even the information , that's available is limited. I found out during the sentencing for an assault...Ex had over 23 no further actions and there was a whole host of offences that weren't included on the disclosure.

I plan to as I have children. I eye roll when people say “something must have made you do it” nope I will be doing it to any guy I meet, they are all lovely at first

Des anybody know what details you must give about yourself when doing a CL check?

This is true and the quality of disclosure does vary.

I would still do it as standard if I was starting a new relationship though.

I would not leave my DD alone with anybody I was dating so it would not occur to me. She has been briefly introduced to someone I have dated, but I do not allow my dating life and my home life to mix. If more people took that stance there would be less need for this law.

I read the link shared. Clare was a young woman murdered by her ex boyfriend, I don't think children were involved. I'm glad the law was changed to allow disclosure but I'm not sure if Clare's life could have been saved by knowing how violent her ex was. She already had a restraining order on him which of course he ignored.

Children weren’t involved I was just explaining why I would do one now as I’m way more cautious since having children, so not sure what pp meant about introducing kids as it’s nothing to do with children or leaving people alone with children I just would have been less likely to do one before. Everyone should do one I don’t see why you wouldn’t, my sister found out a guy she was dating was extremely dangerous (no kids involved)

Surely it's still information you'd want to know even if they never met your children? They could still be abusive to you.

Apologies, I thought this was the law that tells you if someone has been convicted of child abuse. Also, I did not intend to sound so sanctimonious!!

Clare had a daughter. Pre teen iirc

Surly if a man is a danger the police should let you know rather than you have to ask for every man you may want to date and more fool the woman who doesn't know to ask when she should have!

I can't see most women doing this. It's never occurred to me to check out someone this way.

How will the police know that the offender is in a new relationship though?

It's more that if these men are that dangerous that no woman should date them /need warning -then why are they on the street? It just seems bonkers we'd have to ask the police every time we considered dating anyone.

I did one before me and DC moved in with my DP. It would have been stupid not to.

I did a Clares law and Sarahs law request after a few dates, he also did a Clares law request on me. Its really no different to having an STI test before having sex with someone, it isn’t fool proof, but it would be irresponsible to not do it.

Obviously if someone's CL check comes back "clear", it doesn't mean he isn't capable of abuse/violence... BUT I believe men with these tendencies would have form for it. How many times do we sadly hear about women killed by partners who had loooong history of abuse towards other partners.
I personally think it's responsible to mitigate your risk of it. Obviously that doesn't mean he'd NEVER do it, just means no proven record of doing it previously.. which can only be a good thing.

I personally know a woman who was approached by police after her concerned family did a CL request on her partner.... Turns out they were right to be concerned about him.. Loooong history of abuse towards ex partners. Police visited her at work (as she lived with him) and warned her about him.... Sadly she refused to heed their warning (thank God no kids involved) so it was "only" her own safety she was putting at risk in her refusal to leave him. She believed she'd be the one to "change" him... Ending up FINALLY leaving after almost losing her life to him and a nasty beating and being threatened with an iron. Fled in her nightie.

My friend did and got a hit. They worked through it, it was very minor.

No, I don't.

My ex husband is an appalling man with the highest levels of domestic abuse that the refuge staff (where I lived after leaving him) had ever dealt with.

He has had several girlfriends since then and has treated them in precisely the same way - cutting up their clothes, taking their money, telling all of them he was about to kill himself.

I did do a CL when his relationship with my children was breaking down and there was nothing to report!

If there is nothing to report about that absolute psycho, I'm not sure it is as good a guide as we think.

Also, my ex husband has a massive criminal record for other things. These are not reported in a CL case but they do rather give an indication as to his character.

I used it to check the history of someone I was in a new relationship with. I knew he had a criminal record. C'sLaw revealed no history of domestic abuse or violence, which I felt sure would be the case, but it was reassuring to have certainty. I'm still in the relationship and v happy.

Quite a substantial criminal record, I should perhaps add.