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Original poster

Nervous about hen party

32 replies

NervousBrideToBe · 12/01/2025 22:56

First time poster so please be kind…

ok so here goes, my fiancé and I are getting married later this year and my bridal party have booked us a night away which I’m really looking forward to. I think I’m a fun(ish) person but have to admit, I’m slightly shy around new people. I’m not a prude but I’m also quite reserved. My cousins have booked a stripper which I found out through my friend. I’ve never seen a stripper before and am very nervous about what the expectations are for me! I didn’t particularly want a stripper but at the same time, think it could be fun.

I’m not typically a girl who likes to conform to traditions but think this should be ok as long as, pardon the pun, it’s not too in my face 😂

my question is…will I be expected to get raunchy with the stripper/will he be with me/I really don’t want his bits near me. Any advice or experiences you can share to either put my mind at rest or panic the cr@p out of me.

OP posts:
Joelle84 · 12/01/2025 23:53

Having a stripper would be my ideal of hell!! 😂

SchrodingersTwat2 · 13/01/2025 00:17

God, how awful.

gokartdillydilly · 13/01/2025 00:31

Ugh. Hideous.

Lostsadandconfused · 13/01/2025 00:37

If you don’t want this (I certainly wouldn’t) then you need to tell them to cancel it.

What will your fiancé think? How would you feel if your fiancé had a similar ‘entertainment’?

notatinydancer · 13/01/2025 00:42

On my friends hen do her neighbour organised a stripagram. I told her not to. It was so cringe.
The bride left.

AllrightNowBaby · 13/01/2025 00:45

Op just tell your cousins thst you’ve found out about the stripper, you don’t want it and they’d better cancel it …
End of, horrible bloody idea 😡

wandawaves · 13/01/2025 00:46

I'm the same as you OP and many many years ago at my hen's we went on a stripper boat. It was hilarious and lots of fun BUT anything up close and personal I would actually grab one of my wild friends and shove them in to replace me lol. No way was I doing some of that stuff!

Turophilic · 13/01/2025 00:53

Christ, just tell your cousin to grow up. It's awful. Outdated and hideous.

MoonWoman69 · 13/01/2025 00:54

I attended a birthday party for my boss at the time, many years ago. I had contributed to the "present" but when I asked what we were getting her, assuming a piece of jewellery or something equally nice, I was told it would be a surprise on the night. Oh, it was a surprise, it was a stripper and my boss was absolutely horrified. And I was mortified for her. Wagging his arse in her face, trying to get her to put a blindfold on to remove a banana from from his thong... It was cringworthy. Eventually she got up and left the room until he'd gone. I had a row at work afterwards with the few people who thought it was a great idea. It was a waste of money, when we could have bought her something lovely. And all it did was embarrass her and make her uncomfortable.
I would really suggest that you put a stop to this if it isn't something you're comfortable with. It's not about being a prude, my boss wasn't and I'm not. It's about having your special night ruined by something you really don't want.

Joyfulspringflowers · 13/01/2025 07:56

How absolutely awful.
I don't understand why your cousins would think this is a good idea.
Is your fiancé having a stripper at his stag do?
Such a weird way to prepare for life together as a married couple. I really don't understand why hen dos and stag dos are considered a " normal" thing to do.

TwistedWonder · 13/01/2025 08:17

Is it the 80’s? That’s the last time strippers were a hen night thing surely?

It’s bloody grim and if anyone got me a stripper I’d walk out and go home.

OP - I’d let it be known you know a not the stripper and could it be cancelled as it’s really not something you’re comfortable with.

Violetparis · 13/01/2025 08:24

Urgh, grim and tacky. There will be loads of photos and videos of you which will last forever. If you don't think you can handle this then get it cancelled now.

CorsicaDreaming · 13/01/2025 08:29

Lostsadandconfused · 13/01/2025 00:37

If you don’t want this (I certainly wouldn’t) then you need to tell them to cancel it.

What will your fiancé think? How would you feel if your fiancé had a similar ‘entertainment’?

I'd agree with this. People tend to take photos and then they could be put up at the wedding for "fun". The bride to be will often be v much the centre of the stripper's attention.

I bizarrely ended up at a male stag do (I'm female - long story) and they had a stripper for the male stag. He absolutely hated it and found it pretty humiliating. That was about twenty years ago but I doubt much has changed in this type of thing.

Rachmorr57 · 13/01/2025 08:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Anothermathstutor · 13/01/2025 08:34

God everyone is so dull.

strippers can be hilarious, male strippers tend to love the attention. They usually play party games and you’ll probably laugh and be very embarrassed but in a fun way. They won’t make you touch anything intimate (usually their chest) and they expect you to shy away and laugh.

It sounds fun and if you don’t feel comfortable just say no and I’m sure one of the hens will take your place for any strip tease and you can enjoy laughing at it.

Have a brilliant hen!

LushLemonTart · 13/01/2025 08:36

TwistedWonder · 13/01/2025 08:17

Is it the 80’s? That’s the last time strippers were a hen night thing surely?

It’s bloody grim and if anyone got me a stripper I’d walk out and go home.

OP - I’d let it be known you know a not the stripper and could it be cancelled as it’s really not something you’re comfortable with.

I was going to say the same? I didn't know they existed now?

DaringLion · 13/01/2025 09:00

When my daughter got married she made it clear to her sister no strippers and no Willy straws

Original poster
NervousBrideToBe · 13/01/2025 09:10

Thank you for all your responses. I was worried I was coming across as a bit of a party pooper. I also think it’s quite a tacky thing but for the sake of Hen Do expectations was unsure what to do. I think I’ll speak to my cousin and explain the situation. Thanks again for taking the time 😀

OP posts:
Original poster
NervousBrideToBe · 13/01/2025 09:14

Lostsadandconfused · 13/01/2025 00:37

If you don’t want this (I certainly wouldn’t) then you need to tell them to cancel it.

What will your fiancé think? How would you feel if your fiancé had a similar ‘entertainment’?

My fiancé would be uncomfortably ok with it I think. What I mean by that is he trusts me and I trust him but the thought of it I know would be uncomfortable for him. As much as it is uncomfortable for me thinking about it.

If he was to have similar, I have to be honest and say that I wouldn’t like it at all. I see Hen/Stag as a way of enjoying time with friends to celebrate, not a seedy ‘last night of freedom’ type of event

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 13/01/2025 09:23

'I really don't understand why hen dos and stag dos are considered a " normal" thing to do'

Me neither, they're tacky and gross. All the 'last night of freedom' crap

OP, do you want a hen do at all? It sounds like you're having to talk yourself into the whole thing. Please don't be forced into a night out that you will be dreading

AlexandrinaH · 13/01/2025 09:25

You will be expected to “interact” with the stripper.

I’m no prude, but I would say a big NO to this.

batroyale · 13/01/2025 09:38

You're definitely not alone in feeling uncomfortable about it. I would hate this, and doubt I'd even manage to be polite - can easily imagine just getting up and walking out if it was sprung on me!

Original poster
NervousBrideToBe · 13/01/2025 10:05

Lottapianos · 13/01/2025 09:23

'I really don't understand why hen dos and stag dos are considered a " normal" thing to do'

Me neither, they're tacky and gross. All the 'last night of freedom' crap

OP, do you want a hen do at all? It sounds like you're having to talk yourself into the whole thing. Please don't be forced into a night out that you will be dreading

A day/night of celebrating with my friends, I absolutely want and I was really looking forward to it until I heard about the stripper. The more I’m thinking about it, I’ll definitely speak to my cousins to cancel the stripper as it’s just not me at all. The chance to spend fun and quality time with my friends is what matters most (kids and distance make it difficult for us these days)

OP posts:
Original poster
NervousBrideToBe · 13/01/2025 10:07

AlexandrinaH · 13/01/2025 09:25

You will be expected to “interact” with the stripper.

I’m no prude, but I would say a big NO to this.

And this “interaction” is exactly what has made me write this post 😂an absolute fear

OP posts:
StrongandNorthern · 13/01/2025 10:12

Sounds grim. Just say No, you don't want a stripper.
It's YOUR hen night remember.
Good Luck.

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