How do I get him to leave?

[mrsmoppp]

We've been together 15 years, married for 18. After many years of ups and downs I can't go on anymore with things the way they are. He's known I'm unhappy for a very long time. I've told him I want to be with him and for him to leave. There no signs of him making any effort to find another place to live. What options do I have?
Rented house in my name only
1 child still living at home.
Thank you

If the house is in your name then you can give him notice to leave- maybe give him a week or two but don't let him stay longer. Speak to a decent solicitor to see where you stand divorce wise

Posting as he’s still refusing to leave. I’ve asked him many many times. I’m at a loss of what to do

To add we’ve been together 25 years. I can’t edit the original post.

Can you speak to a solicitor to find out your legal position with asking him to leave? I’m afraid I don’t know the ins and outs of these things. Have you given him some kind of written notice? If so, are you allowed to involve the police?

I have thought of contacting the police. I’ve spoken to one of his family members too but I didn’t get much back tbh

You posted in January but he's still there, get the police Op. He's not listening to you because he knows you're too soft to make him go.

Do you own your own place? Or do you rent and who's name is on the rental agreement?

I realise this is hard for you but by writing here you have made a first step. You must keep going.

Pack his stuff, leave it outside and change the locks.
Harsh but I did it once, ex called the police, police said I had to let him back in as it was his "home"
I said "nope, make me"
Never heard from the police again (or the ex)

Kinda sounds it's not that easy from what the op says?

Ah, didn't read properly. It's a rented place in your name. I would instruct a Solicitor to get him out if it seems he won't go willingly.

Are you scared of him?

I think he does have more rights to stay as you are married, even though you're the only one named on the tenancy, than he would if you were unmarried.

You really need to see a solicitor and find out what your options are.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/if-you-were-living-together/what-happens-to-your-home-when-you-separate/

If your ex-partner wants you to move out
If you're married or in a civil partnership you both have ‘home rights’. This means you can stay in your home, even if you don’t own it or you’re not named on the tenancy. You’ll only have to move out permanently if your marriage or civil partnership ends, or if a court orders you to - for example, as part of your divorce.
If you’re not married or in a civil partnership, you won’t have home rights. Your rights will depend on whether you’re a tenant or homeowner.

It’s not I’m scared of him but I definitely don’t like being home when he’s here. He has issues with alcohol and depression which is one of the main factors of me wanting him to leave. He sees himself as the victim and insists I’m the one to go. I just want to be able to move on and relax.

You're getting incorrect advice here. If you're married he can stay regardless of the tenancy not having his name.

Why would he leave?
If he won’t go voluntarily then you’ll have to be the one thh in leave. If the house is rented and in your name then call notice on it and find a new place. Move in without him.

Start the divorce process. Time to end the contractual relationship between you.

@Notmyreality i agree - you and dc should move and then either dh takes over the rental contract or he leaves/is evicted.

how is all this affecting your dc?

It's a rented house but you haven't said in who's name.

He has issues with alcohol, etc so this is obviously causing you issues and stress in return. It's hard but you have to find a way of getting him removed. Obviously, if you have feelings for him it's gonna be a struggle but really you have to do it. It will be better in the long run. I did it and it took a while but I am so glad I did it. You can too.

The rented house in your name only so should be easy to get him out.

But I feel you're scared of him so get a solicitor and get him removed. Most solicitors are very sympathetic to your situation so go ahead

The rented house in your name only so should be easy to get him out.

But I feel you're scared of him so get a solicitor and get him removed. Most solicitors are very sympathetic to your situation so go ahead

the house is in my name, due to previous issues I fought for this house. The house is in my name with him down as a tenant. It’s HA, the irony is he wasn’t meant to move with us. I don’t have romantic feelings for him and haven’t for some time. He’s failed at being a dad and a husband. Our youngest also would prefer him not to be here. She doesn’t like being home alone with it which makes me feel like I’m failing her.

I won’t be leaving this house, he would leave as soon as we would and I would have given up a secure tenancy. It’s my home, everything in it I have purchased. I do everything whilst he sits in the bedroom like a teenage boy.

You have to start the divorce process asap. Only after then can you evict him.

@mrsmoppp
I am in this exact same position, he doesn't want to leave either and thinks I should go as he's apparently the victim 🙄dont have much advice tbh, just sending big hugs your way.

Big hugs it’s awful 😞 I just don’t see an end