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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

How do I get him to leave?

33 replies

mrsmoppp · 12/01/2025 18:31

We've been together 15 years, married for 18. After many years of ups and downs I can't go on anymore with things the way they are. He's known I'm unhappy for a very long time. I've told him I want to be with him and for him to leave. There no signs of him making any effort to find another place to live. What options do I have?
Rented house in my name only
1 child still living at home.
Thank you

OP posts:

Changedforcontroversialpost · 23/09/2025 21:00

I would give notice and move out tbh. Get 30 mins free with a solicitor - there’s a form you can fill out to give him notice but can’t remember what it’s called. You shouldn’t have to move out of your home but it’ll be worth it to get rid of him.

MeTooOverHere · 23/09/2025 23:03

mrsmoppp · 23/09/2025 19:09

It’s not I’m scared of him but I definitely don’t like being home when he’s here. He has issues with alcohol and depression which is one of the main factors of me wanting him to leave. He sees himself as the victim and insists I’m the one to go. I just want to be able to move on and relax.

In this situation I would leave. He is not on the tenancy agreement so if you cancel and move out, what will he do? He can apply himself but he has no record of living there so has no particular advantage. And he would have to take over all the payments (who pays now?)

Find yourself a new place, just big enough for you and the teenager and don't tell him where you're going. Get movers to take your stuff and leave his behind.

I know it costs $$ but it will get rid of him and give you peace.

Valeriekat · 24/09/2025 00:16

Terrribletwos · 23/09/2025 18:31

Do you own your own place? Or do you rent and who's name is on the rental agreement?

I realise this is hard for you but by writing here you have made a first step. You must keep going.

Show quote history

Perhaps read the post? "Rented house in my name only"

PussInBin20 · 24/09/2025 00:17

You need to start divorce proceedings / get legal advice. Why haven’t you done this? Seems obvious.

Valeriekat · 24/09/2025 00:18

Terrribletwos · 23/09/2025 19:31

It's a rented house but you haven't said in who's name.

He has issues with alcohol, etc so this is obviously causing you issues and stress in return. It's hard but you have to find a way of getting him removed. Obviously, if you have feelings for him it's gonna be a struggle but really you have to do it. It will be better in the long run. I did it and it took a while but I am so glad I did it. You can too.

Perhaps read the post? "Rented house in my name only"

Terrribletwos · 24/09/2025 01:30

Valeriekat · 24/09/2025 00:18

Perhaps read the post? "Rented house in my name only"

Show quote history

Thank you.

MeTooOverHere · 24/09/2025 01:31

mrsmoppp · 23/09/2025 19:46

I won’t be leaving this house, he would leave as soon as we would and I would have given up a secure tenancy. It’s my home, everything in it I have purchased. I do everything whilst he sits in the bedroom like a teenage boy.

Ah I see, that is different.
So approach the HA and ask for their advice. You won't be the first in this situation. They must have some procedures or can point you to who can help.

babyboy520 · 24/09/2025 02:03

Maybe it’s time to find a good lawyer to help you sort things out.

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