Jekyll and Hyde DH

[Shouldhavedonesomethingbefore]

Most of the time I get 'good' DH. Interesting, funny, good with DCs.

But sometimes 'bad' DH turns up. And I have no idea what will trigger him. He's never violent. He just overreacts to the smallest things.

He shouts and swears - but it's the tone and mood that's worst, and somehow it's my fault - whatever it is. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells.

Funny thing is it’s never outside of the home... Friends and people at work only see good, reasonable DH.

Last Saturday we had bad DH - not the worst time but it led to a big heart to heart on Sunday where he accepted how difficult he could be and suggested talking to someone about his anger issues.

I think what's got to me is he did that before - when it first happened 20 years ago. And we had couple counselling a few years ago too. So how will it change anything this time? (He's not talked about it again though - just about doing some 'breathing exercises'...)

I don't know if this is making any sense. I'm so tired. I have felt terrible all week - can't sleep and finding it hard to function. He's been behaving like it never happened.

I've been here before, so many times. Last week was a really small example. I think it's because it showed me it won't ever end.

DCs have important exams this year and next. It would be so disruptive if I did anything to break up our life. I don't feel like I can talk to my friends - they've heard it so many times before.

Sorry, this is long and rambling. And maybe I am at fault - he thinks I overreact, and I do close off because I don't know when he's going to be horrible. I just don't know what to do.

So now you know op. Only you can alter what lies ahead.. He won't. Seems your dc are at an age to see him if him they choose to.. Or not.. Let them take responsibility for that decision.. They obviously know him well..... Don't pressure them to accept such a relationship just because he is their df.....They can decide their own boundaries..
Living in that situation won't help exam results any more /less than divorce...

I think he actually hates himself more @AttilaTheMeerkat

You are not a rehab centre for such a badly raised man. I would think he does hate ALL women, in particular his mother. He not liking himself is no justification or reason for why you are treated abusively by him.

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?.

What do you know about his family background here because that often gives clues.

Any more progress or is this twat still making the family’s life a misery @Shouldhavedonesomethingbefore ?