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Is my (22F) colleague(35M) unethical?

63 replies

Josline · 11/01/2025 16:52

So I 22F work abroad in Norway as an IT consultant. I got an internship during my final year of uni and through that I actually got a job offer.

Even though I work as an IT consultant our office is very female dominated. Since we're perfume company. Everything except production is happening in our building.

I just started working here 3 months ago but my internship was 4.5 months. So I have a bit of grasp on Norwegian culture. They're fare more sexually liberated here than almost anywhere. Nothing wrong with it just a bit of a culture shock. Its pretty normal for colleagues of different departments to have relationship's with one another.

There's another "expat" in our company from Iran. He works at research and development as a chemical engineer. But most of his job is consulting designers if they're ideas are feasible from an engineering perspective. So he works with mostly women a lot of time. He's 35 years old and from the time I spend with him he seems solid. Very relaxed, kind and very respectful. He tries not to bother anyone and he's very good at his job. He already speaks Norwegian and Swedish since he came here when he was 23 right after getting his degree a in Sweden. The man likes to keep to himself he usually hangs out with two other engineers. But he definitely socializes with everybody. Let's call him Reza for now.

Reza is quite popular at our company since he works here for so long now. He's also popular with the women of the office. He's very tall,works out and still has his hair so it's not very surprising . At lunch some women including me were talking about men in the office. Reza came up, I started chuckling since I knew Reza was quite the quiet guy. They noticed and asked why i chuckled. I told them why and they all started laughing. They said you must not know who Reza is then. The told me that Reza is a known womenizer. Which I found very surprising. They then continued and said he slept with multiple women working at our office. I mean it's not unusual but I just didn't expect it.But here comes my concern.

They then proceeded to tell me who he went out with. They said a few names and one woman was 20 the other one 21 and another one 23. A few other ones were 33,38 and 41.

I thought the first two were very concerning since they were 19 and 20 respectively when it happened. He was about 33/34 at the time. I spoke to them and they said they had great time. Aswell as the fact that he treated them respectfully.

Do you guys think this behaviour is weird?

OP posts:
sonjadog · 11/01/2025 18:45

As you say, Norway is different and people are much more open and relaxed about talking about sex and about having sex than they are in some other countries. This is not a big deal. Cut out the judgment.

HappyPanda613 · 11/01/2025 18:50

I’m actually a bit jealous, I’d love to be seduced by a tall, romantic Persian man. All I get round my way is fat, balding Tory blokes. Can I get an interview perchance? 😍

pimplebum · 11/01/2025 18:52

You are treating a 35 year old man like he is ancient dirty old pervert

at 19 had relationship with. 40 year old …. And ??

Ursulla · 11/01/2025 18:55

I think it's weird to believe you're in Sweden when you are in Norway.

I don't think it's weird to sleep with colleagues.

PiastriThePastry · 11/01/2025 19:02

I don’t really see why it’s your business to be honest, let alone anything to be getting on your high horse about. As long as there isn’t a power imbalance he’s taking advantage of, then they’re just two consenting adults making their own choices.

ISawGoodyProctorWithTheDevil · 11/01/2025 19:33

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Climbinghigher · 11/01/2025 19:35

He’s 35. That’s young. You make him sound like he’s 80. What a weird thread.

Lifelover16 · 11/01/2025 19:36

Nothing to do with you.

HappyPanda613 · 11/01/2025 19:37

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Disgusting post.

namechangeGOT · 11/01/2025 19:43

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Ooooh please do tell what a 'standard' ME guy does differently to get women in bed?

Ursulla · 11/01/2025 20:17

Drills an oil well?

PromiseNotToCall · 11/01/2025 20:36

SolarWinds · 11/01/2025 17:08

He's very tall,works out and still has his hair

Having all your hair at 35 isn't particularly noteworthy is it?

Oh God. Are standards this low!?!? 😂

PromiseNotToCall · 11/01/2025 20:42

What's the issue here? They are both consenting adults. Age gap relationships do exist. When I was 19, I did entertain a few older men because of the stability/financial benefits they could offer. I did not care about their age as long as they treated me well, allowed me to live comfortably and spent money. It was refreshing in comparison to dating university guys without a penny.

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