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Original poster

Just broken up

52 replies

WhatonearthwasIthinking · 11/01/2025 10:10

Just broken up after two years together. He is a wonderful man and whenever I was with him I had the best time. I have no doubt at all that he loved me completely; he would have done anything for me and he made me feel secure, loved and special, it wasn't just words.

I have a busy life with a lot of commitments and hobbies that I enjoy, I have two grown up sons and two grandchildren, I have animals and elderly parents and, as he didn't live close, every time I saw him I sacrificed some time doing something or with people I loved.

I felt like I was losing me, and although I know I will never be loved that way again, I had to do it. I've been thinking it for a while and yesterday I just had to say something.

He hasn't been in touch at all, which is of course his prerogative.

I don't think I've done the wrong thing, but I don't have anyone to talk to about it just now and I would really appreciate hearing the thoughts of others x

OP posts:
Fridaynightsaturdaymorning · 14/01/2025 13:58

WhatonearthwasIthinking · 11/01/2025 13:33

@Fridaynightsaturdaymorning He won't be happier, that's why I feel so bad. And my user name is an old one from a car purchase, nothing to do with this post.

Are you back with him out of guilt, or out of a genuine desire to be together?

Indeed, good decent men are hard to find, but that’s no reason to be back with him if you’re not into him enough to be gagging to spend time with him, and have expressed a preference to “do your own thing” and nor do you want to include him in your life.

I don’t want to be the harbinger of doom, but the future looks rocky from what you’ve told us here, more so for him than you. I feel a bit sorry for him. A good kind and decent man deserves to be the main character instead of a bit part.

Try to be kind rather than having your cake and eating it, too. Unfortunately relationships don’t work like that, not healthy ones anyway. Think about it.

GoingOffScript · 14/01/2025 23:09

Fridaynightsaturdaymorning · 14/01/2025 13:58

Are you back with him out of guilt, or out of a genuine desire to be together?

Indeed, good decent men are hard to find, but that’s no reason to be back with him if you’re not into him enough to be gagging to spend time with him, and have expressed a preference to “do your own thing” and nor do you want to include him in your life.

I don’t want to be the harbinger of doom, but the future looks rocky from what you’ve told us here, more so for him than you. I feel a bit sorry for him. A good kind and decent man deserves to be the main character instead of a bit part.

Try to be kind rather than having your cake and eating it, too. Unfortunately relationships don’t work like that, not healthy ones anyway. Think about it.

Show quote history

I’m hopeful for the OP but if I were this man I’d seriously be looking at broadening my life TO INCLUDE a relationship but not expect the relationship to be everything. @WhatonearthwasIthinking Are you not a little concerned that he is retirement age and has nothing in his life? Family, friends, hobbies? That would concern me.

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