Hello everyone, this is going to be a long post so I do appreciate it if you read it.
Myself and partner have been together 15 years, with two wonderful children 2 and 8.
Id say the last 6 months we have been going through a rocky patch of bickering, being snappy with each other etc. He has been working away a lot over these 6 months.
Anyway he went out for his works Christmas Do on the 21st and acted really weird the two days after, I don’t know how to describe it but I had a gut feeling this was more than just a hangover, I called his bluff and said one of my friends had seen him all over another woman was it true, he said it was.
It blew up, I said I was willing to move past it and work through as I love him and want to give my boys the loving family they deserve. He then turns round and said he doesn’t love me anymore and he isn’t sure the feelings will come back for me. I said we have to atleast try, as you will never know unless you try, he isn’t sure and is very reluctant about doing this.
He then goes on to say that he cheated so I would end it and I’ve made him feel shit, spoke to him like rubbish and not shown him enough affection over this past year. But not once has he tried to talk about anything to me, I’ve been going back on messages when he was working away to us both sending loving messsgrs to each other, can’t wait for him to be home, etc I used to cry most times he worked away and ask him to leave his tshirt for me to sleep with ( sad I know)
He has now moved to his dads for a few days a week for space and to figure out what he wants to do I suppose.
We have a mortgage together, but he is the main earner I only work part time. The only reason for this was because we had the two children and the cost of childcare when I went back to work would have been huge and he works all over the country.
I’ve said I’ll look for a new job to help him more with money, I’ve said I’ll completely change the way I speak to him and really try to show more affection. It was never intentional if I spoke to him like rubbish.
He completely ruined Christmas, he basically ignored me for 2 weeks then on Tuesday it blew up again and he decided to go back to his dads and come back at the weekend.
Ive told him how much I love him, how much I want to give this another try and for him to please just give it a try and if he still feels he doesn’t love me after we’ve both given it a good try then that’s fair enough but atleast we know we tried.
Also to add he’s worked away a lot of the time with younger lads in their 20s and he has just turned 40.
I feel lost and broken and it’s all come completely out the blue for me, I didn’t see it coming at all.
I don’t really know the point to this post except maybe asking for advice on what I should do. I feel like everyone else is having this wonderful life and my lovely little family, home, future has been ripped out from under me. I know I probably sound completely pathetic.
thank you so much to who ever reads this long rambling post.