Hello ladies,
I hope you are all well.
I am here today for advice.
I came out of toxic and abusive marriage after 16 years and have been single for a year. I signed up to match.com in October just to see whats the dating scene like and met a nice guy. We very quickly connected on emotional level. Same likes and dislikes. Same sense of humour and cheekiness and the guy is highly emotionally intelligent. He is very respectful , he knows I have busy lifestyle and what I have been through. He understands I am a mum to two girls ages 15 and 5 and never pushes me for anything as he understands my lifestyle.
Physically I dont find him too attractive as he is very small , about 5,5 and I am 5'2 but being through extremley violent marriage I now know it is not about the looks. I met him briefly on one occasion and even though we were outdoors I smelled terrible odour from his mouth. Initially I thought it was because he came from work and perhaps he didnt not eat. It was bad but I suppose it can happen to anyone. We met the second time and the odour was still there , on this occasion he tried to kiss me and we were together for longer but the smell was deadly. I brought it up with him questioning it with him as maybe he had problems with his teeth or sinusus and he does. he had his adenoids and tonsils removed and he is struggling with bad breath. He took it nicely and started working on his breath. the smell is still there but a big improvement .
He is nice and gentle guy with big heart.
He was born at 5.5 months old and I can see physically wise he was affected by this. His eye movement is weird and coordination problems as well. I wont reject him for this as emotionally and intellectually he is there.
Relationship was getting better between us and I started to develop love for him. We started to talk about sex and our fantasies . After few casual dates we met in a hotel to spend time together and possible sex.
On the day everythign was fine, we get on extremley well. He was well aware that I dont use contraception and I am very fertile , he reassured me we will use pull out method. We both tested for Stds which he didnt have a problem with either. I felt safe in that sense.
We started to have sex and few minutes in I realised he wasnt hard and my vagina was all covered in sperm. He came inside of me without realising. He was really bad at sex. He basically put it inside of me and didnt even move I think it is something to do with his coordination problems from being born premature.
THis is another matter but what was shocking is that he came inside of me. When I questioned him he said he came but just a little bit.. he was giving me stupid answers which made me very angry.
OUr weekend together was done at this point. IN the morning I went to get morning after pill and he was very apologetic and crying.
I dont think i want to carry on with the relationship. I was forced to have abortion 3 times under threats by my ex husband. NOw I worry if I am pregnant I will need to go through this again. ITs very traumatic for me. Perhaps I know i wasnt entireley responsible but I made it clear to him I dont use contraception of any kind.
Now I dont know what to do.. first of all the odour, then the physical aspect , then the sex and then there ir broken trust.
On emotional level we connected 100 % , we get on well. he is someone I would want as my future husband as he is carrying and thoughtful and loves children and is very respectful apart of this one accident.
What would you do my dear ladies if you were in my shoes?
I dont want to reject someone for their looks and few other things althought coming inside of me was serious to me.
There are so many perverts and sick guys out there and I dont get anything like that from him . I am not sure whether this will work....
Please let me know your thoughts.
THank you everyone and have a lovely day.