He says 'no spark', what now?

[friendtodinosaursx]

I'm 29 (F) and my partner is 32 (M).
We've been together 2 years and have lived together for a year of that time. Recently, it's felt like we've been more like friends than anything else and if I'm honest I feel like my love isn't reciprocated. We spoke about the situation a while ago and he said it's because he thinks he's depressed and took up a hobby which seemed to help him but not necessarily our relationship. The topic came up today (I was upset, he showed little emotion). I can honestly say I am putting in the same amount of effort as I always have done and he says he loves me but just feels 'numb' to our relationship. When I said that 'numb' means you feel nothing, he said I was putting words in his mouth.

I don't know what to do. The logical part of me says if it's only been two years and it's already like this then where can we go from here? My heart is saying give it more time. I just want to be wanted and loved back in the same way and I don't know what to do, I feel pathetic and alone and ridiculous.

Just some advice please, I don't mind how harsh x

Not just a shag on tap but the shared (probably skewed to OP) responsibility of housework, cooking, shopping etc.

Honestly get out, you deserve someone who is as enthusiastic about you as you are them. He feels lukewarm at best.

I should add I have been married for 25 years and am honestly really happy as is Dh. If it feels this way 2 years in it will get worse as time goes on.

My take? If a man goes cold, there’s someone else. He may not have sealed it but he is thinking of it. Either way- a man who is really all in with you will make you feel it. Anything less is a waste of time. You are so young. RIP off the plaster. Go find the one that will never leave you in doubt ❤️

So what, though? Whether he’s depressed or just no longer interested, the relationship isn’t working for the OP, and there’s no point in her trying to second-guess her boyfriend’s state of mind, if he can’t or won’t communicate. She needs to prioritise her own well-being and move on.

I’ve just read this. Oh for gods sake. Call it off immediately. What an arsehole. Just no. You don’t need to waste your life persuading him to want you. Nope. Out. Big girl pants time. Go get a friend to help you pack up. Tell him straight. And start healing. No no no. He can get in the fucking sea. I’m angry on your behalf.

This is correct. Ignore the “depression caucus” who act like depression is a “get out of everything free card” its not. He is a highly manipulative person—at the start when he enjoyed the chase and capture phase nithing was too much effort. Now that he has you he is bored and wants you to chase him. To the extent he is “depressed” he doesn’t know how to shift it other than shitting on you.

You are on a hiding to nowhere. Look at his actions—not his words like “but I love you.” That love is selfish—it just means you are more convenient at his disposal, he likes what you do for him or the way you make him feel. It doesn’t mean that he will act in a truly living manner to you. Your kind of love is about him—his kind of love is also about him. Don’t get trapped by his language. See him for who he is.

This is correct.