My husband is nice and friendly and caring with me when we are outside of the house, usually even when it’s just us, but more so infront of people. Behind close doors, he mostly refuses to talk about anything of meaning or depth, is very condescending towards me and often tries to make me feel stupid.
Examples
We was watching a show in bed last night and I asked maybe 3 questions in an hour about the show as I didn’t fully understand what was going on. He was fairly snappy with me and even if he knows I’ve noticed he purposely won’t tell me or pretends not to know.
This morning I wake up in a good mood, but apparently my energy is too much for him he says. First thing he says to me is that everytime he looks over I am getting off my phone when I was texting my sister? So I said oh I didn’t know it looked like that I didn’t know you was awake but that is a coincidence. Then he starts saying how I asked too many questions last night. Few minutes later I come back and hug him from behind and he is just cold and proceeds to tell me my energy is too much which I reply he is being miserable, but then apparently he accuses me of trying to tell him what kind of mood he is in and he’s fine?
I proceed to get ready as I’m really trying not to let him affect my mood. I play my music quietly and get ready. He proceeds to want to argue it seems.
What is this? Is it depression? It’s usually always in the mornings. He cuts of any chance of feeling an emotional connection and usually only touches me when he wants something sexual.
I am in his country and I have to stay with him for 2 years unless I get deported. I do love him but I can’t be treated like this. Does anyone have any advice? I have tried to discuss it and he goes into denial mode or just says maybe I should have said it differently and a few days later goes back to normal.
When we have date nights and his friends or family texts him he always wants to go drinking with them, and I can tell usually doesn’t enjoy doing things just us two. When I ask him to walk my dogs with me he trails along behind me miserable trying to ruin it for me. I have started going without him. I am going to sign up to the gym just to give me some independence as I dont Have any friends here.
It’s almost like he has contempt.