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Original poster

New relationship - he described it as “random and fun”

30 replies

HangryZebra · 31/12/2024 17:56

Ok I might be being a drama queen here. I’m hormonal so it doesn’t help haha.

But literally I have been in a relationship with a guy for 6 months. We met via work (he was once a client but isn’t now) We have been on many many dates, we see each other regularly, we actually text every single day throughout the day (not like every minute of the day but like a few messages each day back and forth) he stays over mine and I stay over his a lot. Everything to me is going in the right direction.

we aren’t spending new years together as he is visiting his dad in Scotland. Today I sent him a text a long the lines of “thank you for making my 2024 so great, our relationship was a lovely suprise but I’m pleased we finally told each other how we were feeling and I’m so grateful for the time we’ve spent together this past year, here’s to the future”

The reply I got back, “Thank you too, you look stunning in your dress. Yes it’s been random but very fun”

am I being dramatic or is random and fun a bit of a kick in the teeth?!? He is not the best texter and he will admit that but I don’t know random and fun feels a bit 🙈🙈

OP posts:
FrodisCapering · 31/12/2024 18:00

Don't read to much i to it either way!

Enjoy what you have and don't get too invested yet.

AnarchismUK · 31/12/2024 18:02

Seriously? What did he say after six months?

NovemberMorn · 31/12/2024 18:02

Random could mean he wasn't looking for a relationship, but he found one anyway.
The 'A bit of fun'.....maybe saying he isn't ready for a serious relationship.

Singasongofsixpence24 · 31/12/2024 18:08

I presume the random refers to you saying the relationship was a lovely surprise and then he goes on the to let you know he's enjoying it by saying it's 'very fun'.
I think that's a nice reply. Maybe not as heartfelt as yours but nice for a six month relationship.

Thewrongdoor · 31/12/2024 18:08

I think that’s a positive. “Random and very fun” indicates it was unexpected and it’s been great. The “yes” indicates he agrees with you.

GivingitToGod · 31/12/2024 18:13

FrodisCapering · 31/12/2024 18:00

Don't read to much i to it either way!

Enjoy what you have and don't get too invested yet.

This but I suggest your text is clearly stating that you are serious and looking at the future whilst he may/may not be thinking that.
Watch this space.
Is your relationship out in the open ? ie do work colleagues/friends/family know?

Strikeoutnow · 31/12/2024 18:15

The 'A bit of fun'.....maybe saying he isn't ready for a serious relationship.

He said very fun…

GivingitToGod · 31/12/2024 18:16

Thewrongdoor · 31/12/2024 18:08

I think that’s a positive. “Random and very fun” indicates it was unexpected and it’s been great. The “yes” indicates he agrees with you.

Or random could be interpreted as OP being one of other random people?
Subjective and could be interpreted in several ways

Original poster
HangryZebra · 31/12/2024 18:20

Thank you so much for your replies. I don’t know why I’m thinking so much about this I’m not usually one to read into texts 😂 it’s my time of the month so maybe I’m more clingy than usual 🙈😂 I do think the “random” is referring to the fact our relationship before we started flirting was very professional so I do think that’s what he was referring to but yes I don’t know I was expecting a little more back to my heartfelt message. Maybe it’s just to early days and some may be right he may not be on the same wave length as me. Oh and yes our relationship is out in the open we have met each others friends and some family but not all family.

OP posts:
Waterboatlass · 31/12/2024 18:20

I think he means 'random' as in meeting you was unexpected.

'fun', I wouldn't read too much into. I don't think he means it's 'a bit of fun' as in casual sex.

I would take it as a festive and, well, fun response in keeping with a not great texter to mean he's happy and enjoying things too.

If I'm honest, lovely and heartfelt as your message is, it's not my personal style either and I would probably respond (in this context) somewhere between the two.

It reads as though he just hasn't sat down and responded in kind but has focussed on the overall positivity. You haven't really asked him a question after all, just expressed your feelings and he's responded. It doesn't sound like expectation management to me

KilkennyCats · 31/12/2024 18:26

I think he means 'random' as in meeting you was unexpected
Then he really should have said unexpected.
Random really doesn’t sound positive in this context.

TheBlueUser · 31/12/2024 19:13

I think his message is fine, I'm not really one for soppiness / words so would probably reply similar to him.

If you don't know about love languages - look them up. Yours might be words of affirmation, while his might be something completely different.

ButteryBiscuitBalonz · 31/12/2024 19:19

Random is OK but fun sounds a bit of a backpedal after your message basically showing your hand and how much he means to you.

I'd suggest a bit of a freeze out, back off a bit and see if he comes running.

Sajacas · 31/12/2024 19:31

Showing my age but 'random' was an alternative for cool and unusual at one point. Or like coincidence, or lucky. So might just be regional slang.

Ohthatsabitshit · 31/12/2024 19:34

He’s loving it too. Be happy.

Moonshine5 · 31/12/2024 19:35

As usual first response nails it @FrodisCapering

SpringIscomingalso · 31/12/2024 19:39

I don't like men who talk hippy and bohemian when I meant business. Yuck. Hope to be wrong for you though.

Once I was seeing someone and he was kind so on but clearly did not have his shit together. Lived in a shared room in a house share. So that was not up to my standard, but I was aupair so - ok. I was very open and mentioned I am looking for serious relationship only , marriage and kids. Let's say we stay together, how we are going to move in, you renting a bed from your friend who rents the room from a landlord, who is housing 20 foreign workers.

This was in a pub next to his friends , later on I was coming back from the toilet and caught him commenting on me: she is pathetic.

Left him after that. One week later met the husband, English, job, head screwed on and all.

Topjoe19 · 31/12/2024 19:40

I wouldn't worry about a text especially if he's not great at it. How he treats you, how he respects you, day to day is the main thing to judge him by. Sounds like that's all good.

2025Y · 31/12/2024 19:40

I would love a text like the one from him and hate hate hate to receive a text like you sent.

Neither are wrong or right, we're all just different.

Sounds like he def likes you a lot! Take that from a miserable old fucker who is normally first in the queue to say LTB ;)

Sunshineandoranges · 31/12/2024 19:42

I think the word random probably just means how you met..I met my dh at a party..the way it happened was quite random. He told you he finds you beautiful and fun.

RainbowSquare · 31/12/2024 19:43

Fun is a bit lame, he could have read the room and offered up something a little more romantic for NYE.

Sugarcoldturkey · 31/12/2024 19:48

I think you should aim to have a clear talk about the future. Your text seems to be viewing your relationship as serious and heart-felt. I would read his text as trying to keep things casual.

Six months is long enough to know if you want to take things further or not imo. If he isn't interested in something more serious but you are, then time to go your separate ways.

Roysieboy · 31/12/2024 19:50

Waterboatlass · 31/12/2024 18:20

I think he means 'random' as in meeting you was unexpected.

'fun', I wouldn't read too much into. I don't think he means it's 'a bit of fun' as in casual sex.

I would take it as a festive and, well, fun response in keeping with a not great texter to mean he's happy and enjoying things too.

If I'm honest, lovely and heartfelt as your message is, it's not my personal style either and I would probably respond (in this context) somewhere between the two.

It reads as though he just hasn't sat down and responded in kind but has focussed on the overall positivity. You haven't really asked him a question after all, just expressed your feelings and he's responded. It doesn't sound like expectation management to me

Yes this

you didn't ask a question, and if he replied quickly hes simply responded in the manner of a text message

if you want to know how the land lies, ask openly and clearly. Its sounds a bit like you have decided how you feel and decided to say it in a text message amd wanted the same back, we all work differently

NCfor24 · 31/12/2024 19:57

I think it's fine and you're on the same page but he's expressing it far less thoughtfully.
Random = didn't expect what we have
Very fun = enjoying it, wants it to continue in a "let's see where it goes" fashion

I once texted my now husband "I love you" and got "I love spending time with you too". Ouch! Still here 19 years or so later. Still misaligned re thoughtfulness/care/tact.

TwistedWonder · 31/12/2024 19:57

2025Y · 31/12/2024 19:40

I would love a text like the one from him and hate hate hate to receive a text like you sent.

Neither are wrong or right, we're all just different.

Sounds like he def likes you a lot! Take that from a miserable old fucker who is normally first in the queue to say LTB ;)

Totally agree. I don’t do big romantic messages so I’d cringe a bit at the OP’s message - nothing personal just different styles.

My messages would be far more like his - random and fun sounds brilliant and I’d much rather that sort of natural wording that anything more generic romance.