My ex stole my car and phone and will not give it back.

[questionqueeen2022]

So my ex is a big time bully. He forced me into getting another car in my name and then TOOK MY CAR I HAD WORKED HARD AND PAID for When we split. He also smashed my phone and he said if I give it him he'll get it fixed. So I did stupidly and now he saying "what phone??" As if he hasn't got it.

He blatantly told me to ring the police if I want my things back and refused to give them back. He has threatened to hurt my family (on a phone call) so I have no proof of this. He is a bully and his ex wife did get a restraining order on him, too.

He has stole my car and phone and laughs about it to me (we share a son so I can't avoid him)

He's extremely abusive to me and said he has lots of things to report me for. Including saying a parcel never came to me via delivery but it did. (He told me to do this by the way) It's very petty things but he says he has lots to report me for.

What do I do?!
He's bullying me into insanity !!!!

Any reason you haven't called the police?

So call the police then

if the car is in your name i.e. ALL the paperwork, then you call the police and report it as stolen.

Sorry did you miss the bit where I said he's threatening me to report me for things and also has threatened my family? I am stiff of this "man"

Wasn't this exact same thread removed the other day?

No?

You call the police.

Please take into account I am terrified of this man he is a 6ft something HUGE built man who is unhinged when it comes to revenge. He's actually told me getting revenge is the best thing for him. He's threatening all sorts of tbh TS

If you are afraid to call the police then there's nothing you can do. I'm sorry you're going through this.

So you don't want to report him for theft because you have also done criminal acts? In that case I have no sympathy. If you haven't done anything wrong what does it matter if he reports you for doing nothing?! Report the threats too.

He threatened my family in the phone so no proof and I am scared of him. He is saying how he would report me for all sorts

And what are you expecting from mumsnet that you can't get from the police? Just ring the police. simple.

You must call the police! I'm assuming he's not insured for your car (he's your ex so why would he be?) So he's driving illegally! You know he's stolen it so you have a responsibility to report it to the police.

So what advice do you actually want? The no ky answer is to call the police but as you won’t do that I’m not sure what anyone can say

Then your also tell the police about his threats!

I just feel like I need some support really in other people who have contacted the police. I'm literally scared to do anything

So have done all sorts or not? Because if not what does it matter if he threatens to report you if you haven't done anything wrong.

What have you done that’s a crime? He has stolen your car and your phone.

Please try to understand. He is a master manipulator and he's making me question what I have done!? I don't think I have done anything but he's been in my head for 3 years making me doubt reality. It's easily done by him at this point so he's scaring me into not telling them

He has you over a barrel if you do not call the police. He’s not your boss nor jailer but your common or garden bullying abuser. He’s all bluster.

Do not waste yet another minute, let alone three years on this man. He targeted you deliberately to abuse, he saw something in you that he could and indeed has exploited for his own ends. Abuse like this will take a long time, years even, to recover from and your recovery has not started yet. You need the help of Womens Aid, the police and a solicitor urgently.

You have a child with this man therefore he’s going to be in your life for a very long time. You need to take control and let him know you aren’t going to be bullied by him. Call his bluff and report the theft to the police. Stop letting him control you with fear.

People tell me forget about the stuff and move on with my life but it angers me how he's abused me hugely for 3 years actually emotionally physically etc n he gets to steal my car and phone and nothing happen!? 😢

Sexually * not actually