Do you talk about your friends with your DH / DP

[Jaaaaa]

DH makes horrible faces if I ever discuss my friends with him. He's said, he has little to no interest in my friends and that I bore him when I start talking about my friends.

I think his attitude is very unkind and it wouldn't kill him to fake interest in something i consider important.

No my DH doesn’t react like that at all. It’s rude and weird.

Yes I talk about my friends and my DH talks about his.

We're interested in each other's lives.

Yes, but interesting, big or unusual things, so more ‘John got fired and is in ACAS conciliation for wrongful dismissal’ or ‘Jo’s novel is being filmed for tv’ rather than ‘Angela’s washing machine broke’.

He says he has little interest in other people's lives, and finds having to listen about my friends exhausting.

So what do you talk about then? Him ?

Do you go on and on about them? It is indeed boring hearing all about people’s lives who you have interest in. Especially when it’s things that should be private. Gossip is fun but there are limits.

Gossip isn't fun tbh , I don't think she's talking about gossip anyway

My DP talks to me about his friends. Most I've never met and some he's known for years, long before we met. I'm interested because they're important and meaningful to him. Yes, sometimes I can't keep them straight in my head as some are just names to me, but I'd wouldn't be bored or disinterested by something which was meaningful to DP. Agree with Comtesse that what OP is describing is rude and feels like dismissive behaviour.

Well, what does he want to talk about? Current affairs? The Arsenal line up? Philosophy?

I don't find that unreasonable, I don't know if this conversation has taken place and you still do it hence the faces or if he communicated it badly and used the faces to raise a further chat, but his not having any interest is fine.

Does he have friends of his own? Because being a friend involves being interested in their lives......

Hmm well now it depends. I have a friend who is a lot like Miss Bates in Jane Austen's Emma. So she talks and talks and talks. Often about exactly the same things, over and over. It is quite tiring to listen to my friend sometimes. But she is lovely and kind and generous and incredibly creative and an absolute hoot.

We don't have enough to go on really. Maybe you have a habit of detailing all the minutae of your friends actually quite dull lives and he's not diplomatic enough to change the subject. Maybe he's an abusive jerk and wants to isolate you from your friends.

Does he have any friends, or is he just focused on himself in life? Which makes him the dull and boring one ultimately.

Let me give you example, a friend's brother had a baby and my husband wasn't interested in listening to me. He faked interest for 30 seconds before he tried to change the subject.

He does but he doesn't talk to me about them.

Let me give you example, a friend's brother had a baby and my husband wasn't interested in listening to me. He faked interest for 30 seconds before he tried to change the subject.

Not even a friend but their brother, the level of disconnect is strong here. 30 seconds is enough - I wouldn't be interested either tbh.

She is a very good friend, not someone I work with.

To an extent. DP is also friends with most of my friends, or at least friendly acquaintances, so he's interested in them on that basis rather than just because tI'm interested in them. If it's a friend he doesn't know I'd only briefly mention their news if something really major happened (X went to the Grammys!) or they were relevant to our existing conversation (Y went to the holiday destination we're thinking of and has a bunch of recommendations).

You think I should only focus on friends he has met in person?

I never said that, I just can't see why you expect him to have any interest in talking about your friend's brothers baby.

Yeah that's too far. I'd be interested in one of DP's friends having a baby if I also knew them. I'd be mildly interested for 10 seconds if I didn't know them. I wouldn't be remotely interested in my partner's friend's brother having a baby.

She is a very good friend, not someone I work with.

But she is your friend, not his. Her brother is not significant to your partner. 30 seconds is plenty time for that conversation/

To be honest, I am not sure I'd be that interested in my own friends' siblings having babies, if I didn't know them myself. I can barely keep the number and names of my friends' kids straight, I don't have any interest in the kids of people I don't know.

My husband likes my friends for the most part. I tell him bits and bobs about what’s going on with them or he might ask after them - particularly if I’m just back from seeing them he’ll ask how they were, how was that holiday they’ve just been on, are they still working at the same place etc.

He’s probably more interested than I’d expect him to be - not OTT but he does ask about them and remember stuff more than I probably do about his friends. I think I’m your husband in this scenario - I actually couldn’t care less what his friends are up to most of the time but I do try and if he’s just seen or spoken to them I’ll ask how they are, am willing to listen if he wants to tell me stuff but I admit I might not be doing the most active listening.

Even my husband though - I can’t imagine him giving much of a shit about my friend’s brother’s new baby - I mean what is there to say? ‘Oh that’s nice, boy or girl?’ at absolute most,

He is a man so on here is automatically in the wrong

But it depends 'Belinda is moving to Tenerife' I would pass on 'Belinda is having irregular periods' no