Just that really. Ive been in circles in my head as I dont know if I am the 'bad guy' in this as he says ? or neither of us are the 'good guy'?. For context , we both are professionals who earn well , have one 13 (soon to be 14) YO DC who goes to a nice private school and we have paid off
Part 1 2002 -2012
> was HEAD OVER HEELS at first sight when met him at age 22 - first real boyfriend apart from crushes etc. Turned down some very popular guys at my uni to focus on studies and graduate with honors from Ivy league etc. 'D'H was the only guy I fell for as soon as I met, whirwind courtship that i barely remember, think a lot of the heat was only in my head rather than actually between us looking back. Married in 2005.
> My mother passed on soon after we got married and quite suddenly, I was broken. I think he was there for me as much as he knew how (not much as it turned out). We lived close by his parents and he started going to theirs in the evenings rather than home . By 2006/07 he was hanging out with his new work friends including one or two women colleagues in the evenings and coming home quite late many nights.
> One day when he said he was going to lunch with a female colleague (but along with two other friends) I said why not take me too, if there is nothing going on between them (he had been name dropping her , and they took a class together after work along with few other work ppl). He slapped me aside and I actually almost fell to the Ground but he left for his lunch date without a backward glance. Reader, I stayed. I was too low after my mum passing and my health was fragile with all the crying.
> He said at one point say 2007 that I was 'depressing' at times and me complaining about him spending evenings at his parents some evenings a week was offensive and shocking and mean. I had a few tiffs with him and he said it was very hurtful to him that I was not getting along with two people he respected the most.
> We moved towns for work (much higher pay for me) in 2007 , he saw this as me getting my way but came along as the pay was doubled and he was happy about that, plus I did all the housework and cooking. He said to wait to have a kid.
> 2008 I found a text to his best friend on his phone where he said he missed the same female colleague ever since moving and that only some women can be 'banged' and forgotten and she wasnt one of them. I confronted him, he said the text was badly worded, he missed her as a friend, and if I really belived he was 'low enough to have an affair' I should leave. I called her up to ask her if they had had an affair (I was even dumber back then !!!) , and told him I called her later that evening, he was so upset that I had 'embarrassed' him with his ex work colleagues , he slapped me, the slap fell at an angle as I flinched away and it ended up tearing my lip and gave me a black eye and broken nose. Surely these things happened only in bad movies , I was in disbelief. He took me to get the wounds tended to at A&E and I told them I fell down the stairs, they didnt buy it but were too polite to cross question or insist.
> I felt I was to blame for calling her instead of leaving , at least half to blame. We moved cities further down south , and 'started afresh'. I thought no babies for 5 years of just making money was making the marriage boring for him so I said I couldnt wait anymore , conceived in the first month of trying and our DC born . Yes reader, I brought a child into this.
Part two - typing now.