Can he take our baby 50/50

[Hazelcupboard]

Hi, me and ex have a baby together she is 11 months old

I have my own place, a 2 bed house so baby has her own bedroom

Ex partner has recently got himself a flat. A 1 bed. (He was living at his mums where it was over crowded)

Since he's moves into his own flat he keeps making comments about how the baby can start sleeping over his "a few times a week" (his words)

She's only ever slept out once & that was with him over his mother's

Now before anyone thinks what's the problem if hebwanta over nights with his child

He smokes weed (only in the nights, not when he has her in the day times) So I don't know what his plan would be with that

He runs out of money constantly so I couldn't even know if he has money to feed her

He let's people in his home at silly times. The weed dealer, friends etc

I just don't feel comfortable with it at all

If he did apply for this threw court is there a chance he would be entitled to 50/50

I've always been the main parent. The appointment parent. The food shop parent. The buying essentials parent. The buying bigger clothes parent. The weekend parent

I do everything, he literally has her about twice a week for anything between 4-8 hours at a time

hes unlikely to go through court he has no money id imagine probably all talk just continure to not allow it

At under 2 years old he won’t get 50:50, he’d be wasting his time and money trying.

Does he work? How does he plan to manage 50/50? Could he actually be arsed to take you to court?

Yet another baby with another shit father. What a disaster for her.

I think his family would encourage him and basically fill out any forms for him, they kind of baby him

And he works cash in hand but he's not good with saving money or keeping money

He won’t get 50:50 when the baby is under two years old.

What an absolutely unhelpful and unnecessary post

Right!

Very angry about someone else's life

No - just profoundly depressed that women do this repeatedly. If you did not want a useless ‘man child baby’ who can’t deal with money and smokes weed every night as a father to you child - why have child with them?

Often posters who are angry like this have grown up with a father similar to your ex. Basically imagine your baby in 30 years time.

What is the point of people like you @Skipthisbit coming on to a parenting forum and commenting things like this. Regardless, the baby is already here. You either have support/advice or you don’t. OP, listen to their username and SKIP THAT BIT

You do know that all us women that "Repeatedly do this" don't copy eachother. We aren't in some kind of club where we all take one for the team and get pregnant by a waste of space for banter

So are you not getting any maintenance either? It sounds like he isnt an adequate adult, let alone parent. How old is he? Are you back at work or shortly back at work?

dont discuss it with him. Stop discussing anything other than pick up times with him. And focus on building your support network snd self esteem.

Anyway, as someone who works in this field and sees this all the time - under 2 years old - no he probably won’t get 50/50 but he’ll get a lot of latitude if he has his own place as this will be seen as being stable. The stuff you say about him being unreliable/ weed user/ letting randoms wander in will be dismissed as sour grapes. Hopefully for your child he won’t bother to follow through with court etc and by the time your child gets to 2 years old, he’ll have lost interest and probably impregnated someone else

@Skipthisbit If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all.

Oh give it a rest @Skipthisbit . The baby is here, what on earth is the point of giving OP a hard time?

OP, I think it's unlikely he'll take it to court and up until he does, just say no to 50/50 but allow reasonable contact as you have been doing.

Quietly keep any proof you have of him being unreliable/unsafe in case it does arise.

He claims UC and works cash in hand

I recently applied for CM and I now get £7 a week

Sounds like a catch

Nope - what a load of nonsense. My dad’s just fine thanks. And would be horrified if I even thought about procreating with some druggie. I just work in this field and have been worn down by dealing with thousands of women who all blame the court system etc when they are the ones who got together with these losers in the first place.

Anyway, I’m out ….. everyone else will say the same thing. Under 2 OP will have some ability to limit contact but not much depending on how persistent the ‘father’ is but essentially if he keeps going, he’ll get 50/50 because courts have no way of knowing who is telling the truth and believe that contact with both parents is the ‘best outcome’

And that's why he wants the baby a few nights a week.

To save seven quid. No doubt to have more to hand to his dealer

He's a pathetic waste of space who has no real interest in the baby.

"Anyway, I'm out..."

Good.

I'm starting to think this

Is he on her birth cert? Whose name does she have?

Oh bore off