Non molestation order.

[ladybird2024]

Hi,

Just need some advice really. I've had to get a non molestation order out on my ex due to harassment's and stalking etc etc, yesterday he had been threatening me saying he's going to stick up for himself and has hired a barrister because he's not having his name tarnished. He has said he's going to go for it in regards too everything telling them about my mental health, saying how apparently my 14 year is a danger to our daughter, he's going to get social services involved, he has lots of evidence of texts and pictures of apparent DV from me and how he won't accept my mum being the middle person if this gets granted. I mean are they even interested in all this? Because it's a non molestation order this isn't to do with a child arrangements is he trying to scare me? I'm already stressed as it is as the first hearing is Monday 23rd December!

If he's breaking the non-mol with this contact, report the breaches. And report and keep records of any threats.

He can say whatever he likes, it doesn't mean he'll get what he wants. They don't give out non-mols like candy, so there's officially accepted evidence of him being the aggressor here.

I would look at moving to a parenting app or something to manage the child access conversations and stop other forms of contact. You don't have to listen to him anymore.

It's not been granted yet. He's just said to me too how can I ask for a non mole when I've been giving our daughter to him, reason for this is I have no middle person because my mum said no to start with then she said when it's granted she will do it, he said you've been bringing your kids here too meaning my youngest boy in the car as it's after school run he has our daughter ok a Thursday, can he use this against me? I didn't want to stop him seeing our daughter just don't want the constant messages and shit all the time.

Why are you discussing your intentions with him so much? Stop engaging with him and "grey rock" him if you can.

Why was your non-mol not applied for without notice? (I am a family lawyer btw and may be able to help)

He collars me and I have to walk away or drive off. It's really hard to explain.

I had on notice hearing and I've had statement of service

Oh and a substantive certificate so far

So why do you say it hasn’t been granted?

Because it hasn’t the judge hasn’t granted it yet. That’s why it’s going to court or am I being dumb? 🧐 I don’t understand it all I thought that the hearing Monday will be the judge saying whether it’s granted or not and that if he then contests it which is going too then I have to gather witness statements and evidence to prove he is harassing and stalking.

oh I see. You’ve only had notice of the hearing. That’s why I asked why the application wasn’t made ex-parte. Or did you try and court refused?

No it went through the police and they got me in contact with someone in regards to a non mole because of the abuse, the threats, the stalking and constant harassment. Soo the first hearing is on Monday.

right well a non-moleststion order doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with child arrangements unless the non mol also covers your children. It may affect the way the order is drawn up, for instance, no contact save for during child handovers etc
Ignore his threats - just present your evidence, of which I presume you have given the police are involved.

Yes I've presented my statement and the police have all the incidents logged. Our daughter is not named on the order.

It’s likely you will get it then. Non-mol orders in reality don’t interfere with someone else’s rights, so they aren’t that hard to get in my experience. You aren’t ‘tarnishing’ his name as you won’t be permitted to disclose the order to the public. He is just being an abusive twat. They always accuse their victims of being the perpetrators.

also any barrister instructed to do a non-mol hearing will likely be a junior, it’s the type of hearing you get during your training… they are not something to be scared of! But if he wants to waste his money then let him…

I’m worried as I wasn’t told by my solicitor that I had too bring evidence? I was told the first hearing will be whether he agrees to it, agrees to an undertaking or contests it. I’m now worried because I haven’t gathered the evidence for this hearing tomorrow as I was not told too. Will this go to another hearing if it’s contested on another date so I can gather my evidence for it? I do have things logged with the police, I have people who have witnessed how he has been, the abuse who will write statements and I have months and months worth of messages on my phone. I’m now worried they are going to want me to give evidence and I haven’t been told to do this for this hearing!!! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Your testimony is still evidence. I can’t really comment much further as I don’t know the detail of your case.

There will be further directions if he contests it, and the court will direct you to give further evidence if it needs it. I wouldn’t stress about it, it will be very straight forward. I presume you have written a narrative statement which was also filed when the FL401 was submitted?

So he threatens to keep our daughter, threatens to take me to court to get full custody, turns up at my house, constantly buys me things like sandwiches, flowers, he even had brought me a ps5 for Xmas we haven’t even together for a year! He had it delivered to my house. He will use our daughter as ammo so I can’t do anything, he constantly starts on me through messages makes comments and digs and calls me mental and I’ve got bipolar, uses my mental health against me there’s lots. Those are a few snippets.

when I applied for a non mole they took everything from me how he makes me feel, how’s it’s affected me, what he’s done, carries on doing etc etc so I’m guessing that’s already been done as I’ve got legal aid and a solicitor

Well that’s fine then, that is also evidence.

if the court needs anything else it will ask for it.

Will they give me time to gather it as I have people who will do witness statements too? Or is it all done in a day.

If they need it yes, it doesn’t all have to be done in a day but it’s likely it will be, as I said, non-mols don’t interfere with someone’s rights to any great extent, it’s not a high legal bar.

it will be quite straight forward and don’t worry too much.

Ok, I'm just soo overwhelmed and stressed. 😔

Soo it’s been adjourned, I’m pissed off because the video link they sent wouldn’t connect me I waited 1 hour and 20 mins I called the firm, called my solicitor. This is going to go against me and I’m not happy. The mental impact it’s had on me is unreal.

Im so sorry OP. How are you now?