Partner sent drunk messages to my close friend

[MsHardy]

Partner got extremely drunk at a party for my birthday last weekend and started messaging one of my closest friends (not at the party) about starting an Only Fans account. The conversation was completely nonsensical and he said he was doing "research", but then asked questions about if she would do it and what content she would have made for it. He also made references to hot parts of her body. She cut the conversation short and sent me the screenshots the next day.
This friend is extremely attractive and my partner had heard friends say she'd considered doing Only Fans before.
I confronted him and he maintains he wasnt sexually coming onto her and was just extremely drunk... but he'd set his messages to disappearing...
We have our first baby on the way. Im in shock. What do I do?

Leave?

Oh my God, I'm so glad she told you. What a pig.

how and why do husbands, partners, boyfriends, have the phone numbers of their OH friends ?
OP, as they say up north, he needs a slap - don’t make a big thing of this whilst baby might be affected, try to shrug it off, but be watchful, good luck

Off he fucks, the slimy toad.

Bin him, LTB etc.

He’s shown you who he is. He even had the audacity to message your close friend whom he probably knew would tell you. So, he doesn’t even care at all. Bin him. Arrange for him to have contact with the baby when (s)he is born and get on to cms to make sure he pays for his child. If you own a house together see a lawyer about selling it and getting your money out of it. If you rent, speak to shelter about how you remain in the home and get him out. Tell your friends and family what’s happened and let them support you. Consider getting a new birthing partner if he is your current one. You don’t need to have him at the birth or visit the hospital if you don’t want to.

That's disgusting. And particularly as you are pregnant ATM. I'm glad your friend told you.

But if he has done this with her he has probably messaged other women. And presumably if he is interested in what her Only Fans content would be he probably watches other women on there already.

He doesnt aound like a suitable partner and it doesnt bode well for the type of father he will be. I would be thinking hard about my future with this man.

Alcohol doesn't change your personality.
It takes away the inhibitions that you normally have that prehibit your from behaving the way you actually want to.
He has told you who he is.
All you can do is believe him.

He's a drunken liar. For me the set to disappearing - shows intent. If this is what he does with your best friend - what do you think he is saying to people who won't or can't tell you.

Oh come on you know this isn’t ok on any level.

what fucking research does he need to be doing about only fans?

the guy is a snake, he tried his luck and was inappropriate.

dump him. He’ll do it again.

He's a wanker... Release him into the wild.

I confronted him and he maintains he wasnt sexually coming onto her and was just extremely drunk... but he'd set his messages to disappearing...

So messaging a woman, referring to the hot parts of her body and talk about her getting an only fans account isn't sexually coming on to her? What on earth does he class sexually coming onto someone as then, because its certainly different to what I'd class it as!

And he was just extremelly drunk! So what else does he do when he is just extremelly drunk, that he can use being drunk as an excuse for?

Not so drunk as to set the messages to dissappearing though, was he?

And I assume you only know about it because your friend sent you the evidence.

I'm really sorry OP, but its highly, highly unlikely that this is the first time your extremely drunk 'D'H has done something like this and sounds like he has got so cocky with it that he decides to message your friend no less. I mean what are the chances he gets caught out the very first time. Zero basically.

I think the setting to disappearing messages nails it to be honest.
He knew exactly what he was doing, and he knew exactly how much he didn't want you to see him doing it. He knew how wrong it was, yet did it anyway.

The only 'drunk' error he made, was thinking your friend wouldn't say anything. Thats how big the piece of shits bloody ego is.

CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Oh yes, I’m always messaging my DHs friends sexually explicit things while heavily drunk (sorry please change always to never).

Being drunk is not an excuse.

He is an absolute creep- I would be making plans

Ugh your poor friend.

He is a dirty pervert. Get rid!

Absolutely disgusting behaviour. Drinking is no excuse

So he's moving into a career as an OF 'researcher'??

What an absolute wankstain! I'd be getting rid, baby or not. I'm so sorry he's done this to you, OP. I'm happy your friend told you x

Your partner is a pig and I bet within 24hr he's trying to gaslight you about how you're to blame as things have changed since you got pregnant so that you feel guilty and stay with him.
If your friend had have entertained him I bet he'd have gone further than a drunken conversation!

Research indeed. He’s an absolute scumbag op, and somehow I just knew you were going to wrap up your post by saying you were pregnant with your first child before I even got to that part. It is so very often the case that these gross men get much more blatant in their behaviour as they’ve already ‘trapped’ you.
Pregnant or not, I wouldn’t be staying with someone so slimy and disgusting for a moment longer.

Eeewwwwwwwww

The fact the messages where set to disappearing shows he knows he was after a kick and knew what he was doing was guilty and wrong. Its okay all of us sat here saying leave trust me ive been there your pregnant, scared, in shock and he will gaslight you into believing it was a "joke" and he was "drunk". He has shown you his true colouration. Of course you should leave but I have a feeling you will forgive him because the fear of breaking up a family is scary. If you can find that strength for both you and your child realize you both deserve better and know that a happy home isn't necessarily one with two parents together your child will be happy with you no matter if you are alone or with him. We wouldn't want our daughters to stay with a man like that and we would know they deserve better. Of course you should leave him but only you know when he has pushed you far enough to do it. He will do this again but be more secretive next time and probably not with a friend who will tell you. You deserve more OP im sorry your going through this

Let him go.

It won’t get better from here. Be glad you know now.

Dump him, he has no respect for you

She's a good friend to tell you, keep her around. Get rid of him, vile pig!

I would dump him. Your friend did the right thing sending the screenshot/message to you. If he starts blaming her for ruining his life blah blah blah remember that he did this.