Would date a fussy person?

[KimmeyMakesGoodEggs]

I didn't want to say snob but picture a person that is fussy about absolutely everything
ie:

• wouldn't set food on a chain/high street restaurant but orders from uber eats and deliveroo from places he never ordered before so it is a gamble (the inconsistencies I have observed it might me snob rather than fussy...)

• knows a lot about wines and has a wine collection and says that when someone tastes the wine in a restaurant it is only to make sure it is not corked - not to decide if they want it or not BUT last time we went for dinner he asked to taste a certain wine and made such a 'sing&dance' trying to figure the wine out and questioned the waitress so much (not rude though), she clearly didn't know as much as him, but he was behaving as if we were at a wine bar and he wast talking to his wine mates and then ended up choosing a different bottle (but he had checked the wine menu before hand and said it was not good and the restaurant didn't understand about wine

I'm all for having high standards but also very easy going, if I'm walking around and I'm hungry, I'd rather go to Wagamama then go home and order from a random place

I don’t really see the issue with the first example. What’s the issue with not liking chains? And, at some point, you have to order for the first time - you take your chances.

Sevond example, he just sounds like a wine bore. They’re very dull if it’s not what you’re into.

This person doesn’t sound particularly snobbish. But, if you don’t like him, dump him. You don’t need any justification other than not feeling it.

Sounds like a pretentious pillock and I just couldn’t be arsed with the rigamarole every time.

@ThatTealViewer the explanation for not going on chains and High Street restaurants is that he thinks it is low quality and he believes no chain would be high quality enough for him

I'm all for supporting independent and local places but not going to a chain restaurant but ordering online from a random place seems like an inconsistency to me

Yeah no I could not deal with him, he'd drive me up the wall!

knows a lot about wines and has a wine collection and says that when someone tastes the wine in a restaurant it is only to make sure it is not corked - not to decide if they want it or not BUT last time we went for dinner he asked to taste a certain wine and made such a 'sing&dance' trying to figure the wine out and questioned the waitress so much

If you order a bottle of wine in a restaurant and they bring it, show you the label and open it, the taste they then offer is to check it’s not corked, not to see if you like it. If you ask to taste a certain wine before ordering, that is different and you might decide to choose a different one.

Most chains have awful food. There are lots of restaurants that have nice food and some of those deliver/are available online. So, I’m not seeing the inconsistency between not wanting Wagamama’s (to use your example) and then wanting to try a hole in the wall Japanese place with great reviews - or ordering from said place on Deliveroo. Everywhere is a random place the first time.

Same way there’s nothing wrong with you just wanting to go to Wagamama’s.

I don't find this inconsistent.

Any place might be low quality. Chains tend to be low quality. Perhaps because they're trying to provide a uniform service and product and prioritising that, I don't know.

He may be acting like this thinking he is impressing you ?
id hate this carry on , but maybe he has other redeeming qualities features ?

He sounds annoying.

He sounds dreadful.

@Precipice @ThatTealViewer

Agree. Some chains are good and some are bad but I've been with him at his place and he looking ages to find something to order and who it arrives it is worse than some chain or same quality

Unless he is consistently going to 5 star places, his fuss about food makes no sense to me

To be fair he does cook a lot and buy good ingredients but it is weird hearing him slag off chains and then order random food that comes in take out containers

I'd rather go in a chain restaurant and eat hot food brought on a plate

The reason I used the hole in the wall example was because food doesn’t need to be from a ‘5 star place’ to be fantastic. If you ask people who are really into food where they have had their best meals, it’s generally somewhere random and cheap, not L’Enclume. That’s half of the fun.

And sometimes the food will be awful. There’s no guarantees. Like I say, everywhere is an unknown the first time you eat there/order from it.

I think that some people like that and some people like the consistent standard (whether you think said standard is bad or good) that you get with chains.

Interesting enough he would not go to a hole in the wall place unless it was featured in a gourmet article but it is happy enough to order from random places on uber eats and deliveroo where the reviews come from ppl who might not have any idea of what good/authentic food tastes like

That is what I mean

I feel like you’re not really getting what I’m saying and I’m not sure how else to say it, OP.

I do. I agree with you.

Do you know those people that like dropping names of famous powerful people they know or met or know someone close to them as a stealth bragging thing?

He does the same with restaurants

I think that for him is not about the food but the status as if been seen in Wagamama would lower his status

One day we were walking somewhere and on the way we popped in at Lidl for mecto get a chocolate and cat treats - he was so visibly uncomfortable - this was an area where he knows zero people

He then said that he hears everywhere that Lidl has good things but he will still could never bring himself to shop there…

He must be very insecure

So stop dating him?

Blech, i had an ex like this. He considered himself a "hipster". Over time it wore on my nerves. Even if the food was horrible, he would say it's all about the "vibe". He got on my last nerve.

He sounds very dull and very annoying. I couldn't date him because I'd want to slap him for his pretentiousness.

Yes
He asked to taste the wine not for them to bring the bottle, so they brought a little bit in a glass - the problem for me was the theatrics as if he was sitting in a tasting rather than a restaurant and even asking the waitress what was her opinion about the wine, how she’d describe it - she wasn’t tasting it, just serving it. She was put on the spot.

I’ve been to actual tastings with him and didn’t see him acting like that

Then he passed me the glass, I tasted it and simoly said I didn’t like it and would prefer a different one

He seems a tad over the top in some areas, but in others I agree with him, to be honest.

But it doesn't matter what I or dozens of other Mumsnetters think. There is no right or wrong, you just have different opinions and don't seem very suited.

If you stay with him he'll annoy you more and more as time goes on, and, I suspect, you'll annoy him too.

You seem to want others to agree with you that you are right and he is wrong, you don't even seem to like him that much. None of that matters. Just move on and date someone with the same views as you if it bothers you this much.

I would get the ick

He’s a foodie or gastro geek, whatever. That means these things that annoy you are going to be pretty much constant. You can’t date someone who constantly annoys you.

You both sound a bit set in your ways re food. I'd rather take a punt on somewhere independent and random than a chain but would go to a chain without a thought if that was all there was or my companion particularly fancied a Nandos that day.

I would be put off by someone who is afraid to try new places as they don't know what to expect so would just go to pizza express. Not the end of the world. My close friend is like it, I love him dearly, but I wouldn't find it attractive in a date (allergies a separate matter).

The wine thing was obnoxious, I'm with you on that. To my understanding tasting the bottle is to check it isn't corked not whether it's to your exact taste. It's not a wine tasting evening

Also just seen the Lidl update. Is his upbringing such that he now feels he has to prove himself? I have another good male pal like this. Wonderful bloke, heartbreaking early life but has done l well for himself. Fan of Lidl chocolate but will not be seen in less than the priciest clothes, labels, car, designer socks etc. Dragged him to Primark once and he nearly melted in shame.

He does sound like a foodie/ bit of a snob. Fair enough he doesn't want to eat in a chain but the thing about not going into Lidl in case he was 'seen'. How old is this guy? Sounds like he puts a lot of value on other people's opinions of him and I can't see this as a good trait.

Ah interesting. I don’t know how exactly his upbringing was but I do know he is a perfectionist and very hard on himself

He is not a labels wearer but evetything must be highest quality possible

As for food, I love trying new things and I’m adventurous but I don’t look down on chains or high street joints - there is a time and place for everything

There were times where I craved pizza but we couldn’t order or eat anywhere because there was not a good enough Italian authentic pizza place around and ge hates take away pizza. I just wanted pizza, it didn’t need to be the best pizza in the world