Prn

[Applecider96]

How do people watch porn with their partners and not get insecure?

Some people are just very secure. Some people have relationships where both parties sleep with other people. Some go to sex clubs. None of it is my bag but if you're insecure watching porn with your partner it's likely down to your personality and from my experience it's unlikely to change.

You just have to remember it's all fake and not real, there's no real emotions, chemistry and sexual connection. It's all for show.

Why do some people do things with their partner that make them feel insecure?

Don't do things that make you unhappy.

The entire porn “industry” is based on the exploitation of women.

I have no idea why anyone would find this hot.

I know that but I genuinely don't think my partner does. He seems ignorant to just how fake everything is, so I feel like he would compare me and not realise how stupid it is to do so. I'm unsure how to have that conversation with him without sounding jealous or insecure

Do you actually want to watch porn with him? Do you watch porn on your own? I would struggle to be with someone who watched porn (though I've been single for years because I think I would struggle to be with anyone!).

Are you happy watching something in which the female may be being coerced (or much, much worse) into sex?

No I don't but I know people who do and struggle to see how they do it. I know it's all fake and it's off putting for me, but my partner is clueless to how fake it is and I don't like the idea of being compared. He is younger than me so it may play a part. I genuinely wish I didn't get insecure over it but it makes me cringe. I'm sick of him thinking it's normal

Men think completely different to women. I personally don’t get how you can get off on porn, I never have and I don’t watch it. Some men like it all because they see these women on there doing what they do and looking like they do and don’t see the fakeness. I’ve always been baffled as to why some men are obsessed with it when it’s really not like that in reality.

It is normal to not want your partner lusting after someone else, even if the someone else is just an image on a screen.

You don't have to be the cool girlfriend that goes along with this stuff.

Ypu really should have a think about why you're so willing to do something that makes you unhappy just for a man.

You just say, “Porn is exploitation of vulnerable women, some are trafficked, some are addicted to drugs, some are bullied into it, some are brainwashed into it because they lack self esteem. If you want to watch women essentially be abused and raped, there’s something wrong with you. How would you feel about your daughter being in a porno?” No normal man would want his daughter to be in porn so deep down they know it’s morally wrong.

Don’t do anything for anyone what you’re in any way uncomfortable with and if he doesn't like it, he’s not the man for you. Plenty more fish in the sea.

I won't date anyone who watches porn so not a problem anymore for me. I found a correlation between porn use and sex problems one partner expecting things I felt uncomfortable doing because porn made it normal and then a different partner couldn't cum because is brain was porn addled. I don't need this shit in my life, no porn allowed, if I'm not enough fuck off basically

Why on earth do you want to be in a relationship with someone who watches porn?

The porn industry feeds off the abuse and exploitation of women. It normalises violence against women. It desensitises men so they can't have a proper relationship with a real woman.

Instead of thinking about actually watching porn with him you should be asking yourself why you are accepting porn in your relationship at all.

Unfortunately I don't think that would make a difference to some people, as there are all sorts of kinks. I see an issue in being compared physically to someone that's not even real. How they can enjoy something and their puny brain thinks it is reality. Not realising its all Implants and fake orgasms. I don't know how to explain that so he gets it in his head, just getting the message simply instead of him thinking it's out of jealousy.

Unfortunately I don't think that would make a difference to some people, as there are all sorts of kinks.

If his kink is exploited/abused women then you have yourself a very big problem.

Does it make a difference to you, knowing that women are exploited and abused?

People with kinks like that should be on some kind of register. If I was you, I’d be dumping this creep who’s not respecting you or your boundaries and is trying to push you into something you’re not comfortable with. You can do better.

Against the grain here maybe - I’ve got no issue with porn.

I know my partner watches it, never been bothered in the slightest. I do occasionally, though not as regularly, and wouldn’t have an issue with it being something we did together.

I think the security you were asking about is just that I’m not threatened by someone on a screen, don’t see a reason to be.

I agree that it’s not reality, but again that’s part of the reason I’m not bothered about it, he’s not watching the woman next door have sex.

My line is drawn at OF, put candidly I’d think it was odd he was paying for something he can find online for free. Feels like an “extra step” to me!

Going down the morality route will likely not play well with him.

I think it's much easier to say "porn is targeted at men, shot for the male perspective/gaze, there is nothing there for me".

There have been some attempts to make porn for women, but it seems quite rare, I imagine he wouldn't want to watch that, and that should give him some insight into why you don't want to watch porn that's been made for men.

Is he actually comparing you, or do you feel that he will?

Why are you watching porn with him if it’s making you uncomfortable?

How did you get to the point of not being bothered? Have you ever felt insecure that he is pleasuring himself over another woman that isn't you? If they have warm blooded girlfriends I don't see why he would need to watch it. I wish I could be ok with it but I can't seem to have the same mindset. I struggle to understand how someone is comfortable with their partner pleasuring themselves over someone else

He hasn't said anything literal but the fact he pleasures himself over other woman when he has a girlfriend is enough to make me feel shit. He sends memes like "small boobs are bread, big boobs are garlic bread" when I don't have big boobs so I don't understand where his heads at

There's a category called "verticle" and it is literally like you're viewing having sex with that person. It is so cringe to me. Even though it is targeted for the male gaze it doesn't make it right in my head

OP, you have said you don't like watching it with him, pretty much everyone here has told you to tell him that you don't want to watch it with him, you have disregarded those opinions and instead persist with this line of how you can force yourself to enjoy it/not feel insecure.

If there's a category of "verticle" that makes it seem like the viewer is actually having sex with a man, suggest to him whether he would want to watch that with you, whether that would make him feel insecure.

Essentially if there's something (sexually) that he wants to do that you don't (and in this case watching porn together), tell him. Don't put up with it, don't force yourself into liking it, and if he doesn't want to accept that it makes you uncomfortable that says a lot more about the relationship and him.

Does it to a degree depend how secure your relationship is to start with, DW and I occasionally watch porn together, tend to watch that classed as female friendly , though I acknowledge there’s nothing friendly in how even that depicts women, when we do, she always finds it a turn on, not a turn off