Sharing chores

[doesanyonecare]

Can I ask am I being unreasonable to expect hubby to help out a little with household chores now and again . I retired 4 years ago and I've always felt hubby resents this . I get the feeling he now believes that as he still works he doesn't have to do ANYTHING more . He never runs the hoover round .. we've had the dishwasher 3 and a half years he doesn't even know how to use it the same with the washer not a clue . The only thing he does is take the for dog for a walk . I can't remember the last time he hoovered upstairs .
Now I want to make it quite clear I DO NOT expect him to go to work and clean the house too top to bottom ... however am I being unreasonable to expect a little help now and again .
When I discuss this with him he says I'm always getting on at him . Last night for eg I was visiting friends new baby with my daughter . I asked him to empty the dishwasher . This morning still not done and he's off work this week . When I mention it he says oh does it really matter . He like turns it around to make out I'm the one with the problem . Opinions please

I think it's hard when one is retired and the other still working. It is the reverse in my house; DH is retired and does most of the housework and laundry. But on Saturdays I do the 'big vacuum', moving around furniture, and wash floors. Give him some sort of weekend chore, and let him know you are a bit resentful.

How about your outdoor chores? Do you do all the gardening/car washing/ window cleaning?

Tell him to shape up or ship out. It’s his house too and if you weren’t there he’d have to do all the household chores himself. You’re his wife, not his maid.

Tell him yes it fucking matters. He used the dishes too. How deeply unattractive.

I can see why he might feel it's down to you if you're retired and he's still working. Not saying it's necessarily right, but I can see why he'd see it like that.

I suppose it makes a difference to me if it's always been you doing the housework even when you were working?

When will he retire?
What about getting a cleaner?

Are you both still contributing financially? If he doesn’t want to do any cleaning fine, I hate it too. My husband hates it too so we pay for a cleaner for 2hrs a week. If he wanted to do it himself I’d pay for a cleaner 1hr a week. We both do laundry equally, but again, if I didn’t want to I’d pay for someone else to do it.

It might be petty and uncomfortable for you for a while, but I’d just stop doing anything. If he doesn’t want to do any washing, don’t do his. Get takeaway or eat out so you don’t have to use any cookware if he doesn’t wash up. Move into the spare room and leave him to it, or move out for a bit if you have some willing friends or can afford an airb&b. Personally I’d do the latter as I would find it so unattractive to live with someone who behaved like this.

I don't want a cleaner . I just want a little help . Why should I pay someone to clean for me ?

He's told me tonight he does the diy . He doesn't wash cars or windows we have no garden to tend now .. He's put a new table together tonight and says could you do that ??
I had a new table 5 years ago !!!!

My husband has retired and I still work. He does far more of the chores now including making my packed lunch for work and all the weekday cooking. However when we are both in the house and something needs doing we are both up and doing. For example if he washes the car on a weekend I would garden or clean while he is doing that. On an evening after we have both eaten, we both clear up and wash the dishes/load the dishwasher. He did more of the mental load anyway and now does pretty much all of it.

If the cat is sitting on him, I will go and make a cup of tea. Purely out of consideration for the cat!

I strongly prefer to do the laundry and still do that.

If I have holiday from work, we both do the chores.

Your husband should not abdicate all chores to you and he should not view it as helping you either as it still makes it your responsibility.

What a condescending, misogynistic, prick! I wouldn’t be doing anything for him. I would be doing my own cooking, laundry, washing my own dishes, making plans to go out with friends without him. When he gets pissed off ask him, “Oh does it really matter?”

I feel like doing this tbh cus he thinks housework is so bloody easy . He's never done a wash , ironed nothing . Can u imagine if I stopped doing it all .
He just refuses to understand how I feel . Every Christmas he does nothing towards it leaves it all to me which gets me down so much . I suffer with my nerves anyway and this all adds to it

If it's been like this for years, then your chances of anything changing are remote.

Hope your being sarcastic

Stop doing for him do for you only.

yes the house will still doing but do so in your own time but do nothing for him

now for Christmas is everyone coming to you or is it just the two of you if the latter have the laziest day ever. If family over ask everyone to help you with goods or their services. Take the load off.

Also tell him this is the plan as you’ve had enough and stick to it

You best be joking

Don’t do anything for him. Seriously. Don’t. Fuck him. He doesn’t want to understand because it suits him. He doesn’t have to do shit because he’ll just have you do it. So don’t do it. Don’t do his washing, ironing, cooking, don’t be sexually available for him. Nothing. He doesn’t deserve it. You’re his wife not his maid. Either he respects you and starts pulling his weight or he can fuck right off. Start doing some shopping with his bank card too. Reward yourself for all the years you’ve put up with wiping his lazy arse.

Does he praise his wife for all the things she does? I doubt it. It boils my piss that women have to please, praise and pander to these grown ass men who don’t fucking appreciate them. Why should we? Why don’t we instead give them a good toe up the arse? Shape up or ship out!

Then stop doing it for him.

He’s not a small child who needs a pat on the head and a gold star when he shits in the potty ffs

You are married so house work should be 50 50 not just down to you if I was you I would go on a week long holiday with your daughter and leave the house work to him

Since she's retired, presumably the children are adults.